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Mar 28, 2009

Hi there doc, I am a male 31 years old from India. My first exposure if any was on 13 Feb 2009 at a friends bachelor party. At the end of the party there was this stripper who I must have french kissed 4 to 5 times at the time of kissing there were no visible gum bleeding/sores/cuts on my lips nor the stripper and at the time of kissing I did not taste any blood but had a considerably amount of vodka in my systme but I am quite sure of the above observation. Furthermore I fingered her for not more than a minute with my index finger afterwhich I quickly cleaned it with the bedsheet. Please note no observed cuts and bleeding on my finger. I fondled and kissed her boobs as well and then she massaged my organ over my underwear. There was no intercourse and oral sex at all. After this encounter maybe a couple of weeks later my wife gave me an oral and I think she had some sort of sores on her lips and she is carrying my child. I am worried sick that I might be at HIV risk and might have passed it to my wife, and then in turn to my child. This thought is DRIVING me KKKRAZZY!!! Through out the entire period after this exposure ( 5 and half weeks ) I have not noticed any symptooms like diarrheea, dry cough, swolling of lymoh nodes, thrush, or any symptoms of ARS. Plus I have been a regular runner and doing good long runs even now with excellent timings, playing squash and gymming. Energy levels are not low at all!!. but this anxiety (which I feel is self impposed) refuses to go away. I have had anxiety issues in the past and tend to get worked up unnecessarily. Plus the guilt of this encounter is really eating me up from inside. I have no other encounter in my entire life except penetrative sex with my wife. My questions are 1. from the above encounter can HIV be transmitted and the same to my wife and to be born child 2. Do I need to get a test done. if yes can I get it after 6 weeks or 3 months is mandatory 3.How can I get rid of this guilt and anxiety.

Sorry for the long reply, hope you can answer my question and give me peace of mind.

Also please let me know the procedure for making the donation and would like to tell you that you ar edoing a FANTASTIC job and God bless you, your family and your organisation.

Hope to get your reply soon.

Mr. Anxious

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Mr. Anxious,

Your HIV-acquisition risk (French kissing, brief fingering, "boob fondling," "organ massage over underwear") is essentially nonexistent (assuming the skin on your fingering finger was intact). You have no symptoms and I see no cause for concern. There is no medical indication for HIV testing. However, if my reassurance is not enough for you to shake the worries that are driving you "KKKRAZZY," get a single HIV-antibody test at the three-month mark. The results will undoubtedly be negative, but if that helps to put your residual fears permanently to rest, it may be worth the time and effort.

There is no doubt your real problem is anxiety and guilt. "I have had anxiety issues in the past and tend to get worked up unnecessarily." BINGO! There's your problem. Your anxiety issues are back! "Plus the guilt of this encounter is really eating me up from the inside." And there you have the cause of your anxiety!!! You'd done an excellent job not only diagnosing your condition (anxiety) but also identifying the cause (guilt).

To specifically answer your questions:

1. No.

2. No.

3. Level with your wife. It's not only the best way to confront and conquer your guilt; it's also the right thing to do.

Thank you for your interest in making a donation to the Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation. Donation information can be found on the foundation's Web site at

Good luck. Be well.

Dr. Bob

I'm worried about giving my new b/f HIV through Oral Sex (DISCLOSURE, 2009)
Very scared;; Look up to you and need your help;

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