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I am Suffering from Worry

Mar 18, 2009

Hey Doctor Bob, I love the information this site offers and your dutiful question answering, thank you for all that you do. I plan to donate significantly to AIDS research after I have gotten my degree and can make a worthwhile contribution. Also, I have read through all the information on this site, many times over-- given my obsessive nature, but I need your help with a concern. I apologize if you become irritated with me in recognizing this question again, but I am so distraught with worry that I cannot help but make repeated attempts at your counsel.

4 weeks ago I had vaginal sex with a girl who I now believe to be rather promiscuous. I used a condom but it was one that my university supplied to me 6 months ago and I kept it in my wallet alllll that time until having sex with her that night. I inspected the condom before using it and I noticed tiny flakey bits on the condom. I perceived these bits to be dried up lubricant. I do not remember if the condom package had air in it. I did not notice any holes before putting on the condom and I did not notice that the condom was broken after sex (I have read on the site that it would be rather obvious if it was broken).

I am planning to test in 2 more weeks at the 6 week mark, because I dialed up an AIDS hotline for Massachusetts and they told me that a healthy immune system would produce antibodies by 6 weeks. In the meantime I am still distraught with worry, and if you would comment on my risk level I would be so appreciative. I hate that this virus is real and I hate myself for being naive. If I dodged this one I am never going to make such a careless decision like that ever again.

Response from Dr. Frascino


It is not a good idea to keep condoms in your wallet for six months. (My, that was quite a dry spell you had!) Improperly storing condoms (such as in the glove box of your car during the summer heat) can cause the latex to denature and thereby increase the chance the condom could break during the ol'-in-and-out. (See below.) Luckily your condom did not. Yes, it's very obvious when a condom breaks. Mr. Happy's head comes poking through, just like your head pokes through a turtleneck sweater.

Regarding HIV testing, the guidelines recommend a test at the three-month mark for a definitive result.

If you "hate yourself for being nave," get informed! Start by perusing the wealth of information on this site, in its archives and on the related links.

Good luck.

Dr. Bob

Laughing out loud! You are outrageous! I LOVE YOU Feb 29, 2008

Hey Dr. Bob,

I'm new to this site, although all my friends have been raving about it for a while now ... you have quite a following here...

At any rate I was wondering about carrying my condoms in my back pocket and came upon this response in the archives (below)... I laughed so hard I spewed hot coffee all over my computer... I think I may need to come to your office just to meet you in person...I think I'm developing a crush on you!


manbag condoms Jul 6, 2006

Hey Dr. McHandsome,

I'm about to enter into the sexually active period of my life.I'm 25 and I can't wait to impress the ladies with my wit and fashion! I'm writing because I'm concerned about carrying condoms in my pocket or wallet. Should i carry them in my man-bag instead or would that be too ticky-tacky?

Thanks for your prompt repy,

Sincerely yours,


Response from Dr. Frascino


You refer to me as Dr. McHandsome; you're 25 but only now about ready to enter into the sexually active period of your life; you expect to impress ladies with your wit and fashion; you carry a man-bag and your name is Sergio-Gaylord????? Whoa! There are so many rainbow flags waving in that message that it's only one penis Popsicle away from a Gay Day parade.

Dude, first off, when someone mentions man-bag on this site, I think scrotum.

To answer your question, condoms can be comfortably carried in your pockets or attaché case or stored for handy use in your nightstand "goody drawer."

Next, you may well be as straight as a lawn dart, but the tone of your post makes me wonder if you could bottom for Liberace. Either way, of course, it's fine with me. I just want you to be safe and sexually content and never-ever ticky-tacky.

Good luck.

Dr. Bob

Response from Dr. Frascino


Sorry about the coffee-soaked computer keyboard and monitor. Maybe the site managers should put up a warning notice on some of my responses: "Caution: May cause inadvertent spewing of beverages." Both I and Sergio-Gaylord send our heartfelt apologies. If your computer is damaged your might actually meet Sergio-Gaylord! I'm quite certain he now works for the Geek Squad (computer repair nerds).

Dr. Bob

please help
Follow up (revised)HIV+ Dorm Roommate

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