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HIV + and married
Mar 15, 2009

Dr Bob, I am stunned & don't know what to do. I am married to a husband who has AIDS. During my first year in marriage, i noticed that he had put his profile on pozmatch.com saying he is single & looking for women- FYI we are legally married for 3 yrs now. Today i found out he purchased something or paid a certain amt. of money on Feb 14 2009 to Manhunt.net. I didn't know what this place is until when i called & was told is a site for men seeking men. Could he be looking for men for sex? I thought because both of us are positive is time to settle & move on with life. I feel like i can walk out of this marriage right now. He pretends to be the best man & i am wondering if he is disclosing his status of having AIDS. I don't know what to do Dr. Bob & i don't want to be more stressed for the sake of my health. Since he came home this evening i don't feel like i want to talk to him and he is realizing there is something wrong with me though i haven't said anything.He asked me if i am fine i said yes but it is hard for me to hide it. All i can call him now is a dirty man and i am very upset. Please advice.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hi,

Within the first year of marriage your poz hubby was posting his profile on pozmatch.com saying he was single and looking for women???? Ohhh . . . there's a red flag for you! And now he's on Manhunt.net? Well, I'm quite certain he's not doing research. So it's fairly safe to say your hubby is out trick-or-treating and apparently playing on both sides of the proverbial fence. I think it's time (long past time) that you had a heart-to-heart talk with your husband concerning his chat-room activities. It's possible couples counseling might help. But in reality I tend to doubt this guy is the type of husband that "happily ever afters" are made of.

Good luck.

Dr. Bob



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