|$200 promised along with good karma :)
Mar 14, 2009
I wrote to you before about a 2 minute making out session with an HIV+ man about 1 1/2 years ago. I think it's just the idea that I was SO close to HIV that has completely taken over me! 1 1/2 years later I took 10 HIV tests, most of which are Rapid OraQuick Advance. All came out negative. I can't seem to shake the fear from my mind! Can I stop testing? I keep thinking about all the "what if's"! What if we both had cuts, what if we were both bleeding, what if his blood got into my tongue piercing. I don't know what to do. I'm so depressed and so bitter. I keep thinking what if the oraquick test that I took at AltaMed were inaccurate. Or the company (rapid screening center) I got an ELISA test from was fake.
Now I'm starting to fear that 1 1/2 years was too late to take a test.
I'm very depressed and completely and utterly miserable. Are my test completely, confidently and conclusively accuarte. Can I stop testing and move on?
I promise with all of myself, that I will donate $200 to your foundation. I just need your words of advice and your hopeful words. Please help me, I feel so lost.
| Response from Dr. Frascino
1. Are 10 negative HIV tests 1.5 years after a two-minute make-out session with a virally enhanced hottie definitive and conclusive? Absofrickinlutely. HIV is not your problem. No way. No how.
2. "Can I stop testing?" I don't know, can you??? Certainly you should have stopped long ago! Ten tests are completely unwarranted and highly excessive. Exactly what part of "HIV negative" are you having difficultly understanding?
3. "I'm very depressed and so bitter;" . . . "I'm completely and utterly miserable;" . . . "I keep thinking about all the what-ifs." These statements clearly indicate you are clinically depressed. Irrational obsessions and fear of HIV, despite overwhelming evidence you are HIV negative, can be a sign you are suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and/or clinical depression/anxiety. My advice is that you seek consultation with a psychiatrist or psychotherapist to help you confront and conquer your irrational and totally unwarranted fears. Only then will you be able to accept and believe the truly wonderful news that you are HIV negative!
Thank you for your generous donation to the Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation. It's warmly appreciated.
Be well. Remember HIV is not your problem, OK?
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