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The dirtiest dance
Jan 31, 2009

First of all, thank you for this great service that you provide.

Now I'll get to the dirty part. So on last weekend, my birthday, some pals took me out to a strip club to celebrate. I'm sure you know where this is going, and telling yourself 'not another lap dance question.' This one however...I feel is different. So the dance starts, she's naked, pulls my jeans down so I've got my grey pair of boxer briefs on. About a minute in, I notice that my underwear is...soiled. Literally. I was shocked, and by the time I realized what had happened, the dance was over. I quickly went to the bathroom and threw out my skivvies. Upon returning home, I kissed my girlfriend, and told her that I had a good time, and that was that.

Now, I think I know HIV transmission pretty well, but I started worrying yesterday. Feces on its own can't transmit the virus, but what if there was some blood in it? What if it was actually blood in the first place? I know even then, it takes several leaps, like her being positive, the virus staying alive, it getting through my underwear, and finally into my urethra. Do I have anything at all to be worried about. I'm more concerned about my gorgeous girlfriend who approved of my birthday shenanigans without hesitation. Dr. Bob, quell my fears like you have for many others. Thanks again, and I truly appreciate what you do. Take care.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hi,

Relax Max; your dirty dancing nightmare was nothing more than stripper skid marks on your skivvies. Your HIV-acquisition risk is so remote it's beyond nonexistent. Just consider yourself lucky your gorgeous gal-pal didn't notice you returned home without your sexy 2xist tighty whities in place! Had she noticed you would have had to do some splaining (as Ricky Ricardo would say).

Dr. Bob



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