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Please help. Made a mistake and now worried sick

Jan 29, 2009

I'm a very happily married man who went off the deep end for a few days and now very worried from symptoms and stress.

The following events took place.

1. I received a hand job and anal fingering (she fingered me) from massage therapist. No known cuts.

2. 5 days later I was drunk at a strip club and stripper stuck her tounge down my throat. When this happend I had recently had an oral herpes outbreak that had mostly healed, but still had some dry peeling skin.

3. Approx 3 days later, the lymph nodes under my arms started to get tender. Within a few more days, the same tenderness was in my groin and in my neck. It seems to have gotten worse in my neck area. This has been going on for about 12 days now.

4. I went to my Dr and he ran a bunch of blood tests, including HIV Elisa at 15 days after first exposure. I realize this is not enough time, but it was just one test out of many. It came back negative.

He also noticed that my tounge was a bit white and thought I might have a yeast infection.

That said, he was not worried at all about HIV and told me not to worry about it.

I was still very worried so I did a PCR DNA test 19 days after first exposure, still waiting on results (a few more days).

I've read some similar situations here and seems risk is very low, but all things combined, along with lasting and unexplained tender lympnodes and somewhat white tounge, I'm VERY concerned and losing sleep.

Most importantly, I wouldn't want to put my wife at risk so I've put off having sex with her until I know if there is anything wrong. The problem is that it seems I won't know for sure for 90 days or more!

My questions are...

1. Is it possible to have symptoms such as tender lymph nodes and still test negative at 15 days?

2. Do you think I have anything to worry about even with the lack of explanation for my symptoms?

Any other advice would be GREATLY appreciated. I will definitely send a donation as this website in a truly amazing resource. Thank you in advance for your help.

Response from Dr. Frascino


1. During HIV acute retroviral syndrome (ARS) the standard HIV-antibody tests are often negative or indeterminate. However, the viral load will be very high.

2. No. Your HIV-risk exposures were negligible at best. If your PCR DNA is undetectable, as I strongly suspect will be the case, you can rest assured that your "symptoms" are not HIV related (because you will have had a negative HIV-antibody test plus negative PCR DNA while symptomatic).

3. Thank you for your donation to the Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation (

Good luck! Be well!

Dr. Bob

CDC Lesbian Statistics
A Word of Thanks, and an Explanation, too!

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