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Risk for a top to be infected from bottom.
Jan 28, 2009

I had unprotected sex with a friend twice in one day about 8 months ago(may). He told me last week that he was diagnosed positive in december. I am so scared that he may have given it to me! i have since then obsessed online looking at anything telling me my probability about getting it. I am a strict top. what are my chances of getting it? if he got diagnosed in december does that mean that he got it IN december or how long before?( i read 6 weeks?)doctor i am so scared! i am in a committed relationship with my partner who i one day plan to marry. I have looked up the symptoms and i have not had any of them. No blood in my stool, no fevers, no weight loss, no swollen lymph nodes, nausea, headaches white stuff in my mouth, sores, or rashes. Should i have already gotten sick by now if i was infected? me and my partner have not had any of the symptoms but im really scared. If he were to have gotten infected from me ive decided to commit suicide. I plan to go get tested soon but i am so scared to find out. please tell me my chance. thank you!

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

You plan to commit suicide if you're HIV positive and have passed it on to your partner? Hmm . . . I generally delete questions threatening suicide. I prefer to help people who value life rather than those who so willing wish it end it. You do realize I'm HIV positive, don't you? If I had committed hari-kari in January 1991 when the virus found me, I wouldn't be here to respond to your anxious query. I find such comments about suicide to be insensitive to those of us who battle each day to stay alive and well while navigating the challenges of cohabitating with HIV.

Briefly responding to your questions:

1. That your buddy was "diagnosed in December" gives no indication of when he initially became infected. It could be months to years ago.

2. The estimated per-act risk for acquiring HIV from unprotected insertive anal sex with a partner confirmed to be HIV positive is 6.5 per 10,000 exposures. Your estimated statistical risk would be less, as we do not know if your buddy was positive in May or not.

By the way, why did you only freak out when your buddy disclosed his status in December? If he had never gotten a test or never advised you of his test result, would you be at any less of risk of being HIV positive yourself? As I've frequently stated in this forum, we must consider all our partners HIV positive and take all the necessary precautions to prevent transmitting the virus.

Dr. Bob



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