Ready to Donate and Worried...
Jan 18, 2009
Dear Dr. Frascino,
I am a married man and never had sex with anyone except for my wife for 5 years. I live in singapore and the other day I went for a kind of decent massage place. The girl was Chinese and we end up having sex after massage. I used condom and no break etc. happened. However, I realised during the sex, condom rolled up towards the head slightly but never came out. Afterwards, we winished and I took shower immediately.
I am worried because I never experienced anything like this. Also, I am married and very worried to pass something to my wife. I can not sleep for 3 nights and dont know what to do? If dont tell my wife, how I can we wait until I have the test. Please advice. Never again!
Also, after my test and hopefully negative result, I am more than willing to donate usd 500 as I understand the importance of your aid and advice to every people.
Looking forward to your response, Many thanks.
Response from Dr. Frascino
Your story is remarkably similar to many others in the archives. Have a look. We are all human, which means we all make mistakes and have lapses in judgment, even yours truly! It's a well-known fact that the Higher Powers gave men both a brain and a penis, but only enough blood to run one at a time.
Your HIV-acquisition risk is essentially nonexistent, assuming the latex condom was used properly and continued to cover the business end of your tallywhacker. (That the condom rolled up slightly would not increase the risk of HIV.)
No doubt your biggest problem right now is guilt. I would suggest you level with your wife. Not only is it the best way to confront your guilt; it's also the right thing to do. Lasting relationships are built on trust and honesty, even in difficult times. If you and/or your wife are concerned, despite my reassurance, the two of you could use latex condoms during your three-month window period for an extra level of safety. I'm confident your definitive three-month HIV-antibody test will be negative.
The most important thing about our errors in judgment is that we learn from them. We need to admit our mistakes, accept responsibility for any consequences and, most importantly, learn from the experience.
K.L., thank you for your generous offer to make a donation to the Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation (www.concertedeffort.org). Your one gift will touch many lives, turning hopelessness into hope. In return I'm sending you my best good-luck/good-health karma that your definitive three-month test is negative. I'm very confident it will indeed be negative.
Good luck! Be well. I'm here if you need me.
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