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Confused and Frustrated

Jan 16, 2009

Sorry to bother you with this question, but I really need your assistance. I respect the work that you all do on this website, and really need your assistance. I don't want to ask a question that has been answered a million times, so I have found myself scouring the archives with anything remotely to what I am experiencing, and finding a lot of difficulty. Maybe it's me, but most of the questions seem to be coming from men, and I am a female. I know that your time is precious, but I would give almost anything if you would read this and give me some feedback. About six months ago I did something completely out of character, as I am sure a lot of people on this website have done. I was drinking too much and ended up having unprotected sex with a co-worker that did complete inside me. Through my research on the internet, I haven't found anything that sounds like what I have experienced to date. The first day following, I had severe diaririah and a couple of days after the act, I found a white patch on my bottom gum that would not rub off. I found it stange and was able through force to get it off. Although I found it weird, nothing else seemed amiss. About three days later, I had the most excruciating abdominal pain. It was dulled when walking, but worse when I moved around and tender to the touch and this is when I started getting worried. I started scouring the websites scared at what I might have caught. Everything was scary. About three weeks after the incident I came down with a cold. It was a weird cold, as I didn't feel anything leading up to it. It immediately went to my throat which made it hard to swallow. This only lasted a couple of days with medication, but two days later an extremely sore neck and I noticed discomfort when sitting because the skin on my buttocks around my *#$% was really red, hot to the tough, and looked almost like chicken skin. On the fourth week I had 2 nights of sweating. I woke up both nights feeling almost like something was surging through my body. After those couple of days, I woke up one morning with a burning sensation on my tongue. I couldn't see anything weird about the look of it at the time, but it has progressively gotten whiter, kind of funny looking in the back, and I have been noticing very small purple blemishes randomly appearing in my inner mouth cheeks. Also, about this time, my right eye twitched on the bottom for three days and a tingling sensation was on my back in between my shoulder blades. After month one, I went to the doctor with all my complaints extremely worried. At the time they ran me through a STD test including hiv test and all were negative. They told me that I would have to wait another 6 months and test again. Not able to handle the stress, I went to my co-worker and told him of the issues I was having and my concerns. He said that he hadn't had un-protected sex in three years, felt fine, but would take the test to alleviate any of my worries and his test came back negative at two months past the incident and then again at five months. My symptoms continued without any avail, including a lot of shoulder soreness and a feeling of surging heat radiating down my arms in line with my veins. I couldn't wait, so at three, four, and five months I paid for two rapid tests and the last one at the doctors office with the regular STD PAP, again everything negative. The one thing that my gyno did say during the pap was that there was discharge on my cervix, but nothing abnormal came up. I still have the burning on my tongue and it has been six months, a month after my last neg. result. Do you think I should test out longer than the recommended because of these symptoms or possibly these can also be caused from PID? I only have sex on the average once a year, and it was rough. Could that have caused all this? It seems to me they would be able to know if I had PID or something, but I am not sure how difficult that is to diagnose. Can my stress cause these symptoms? Is it possible for a man to be a carrier and never test positive, yet give it to a female? Sorry to bother you with all of my questions, but I just can't seem to get a straight answer from any of my doctors who seem to think that this is all in my head. Is possible that I still have been infected with hiv? I would assume if I am having all these symptoms, there would be antibodies present, right?

Your response is extremely appreciated, I dont know where else to turn.

Will donate...

Troubled Soul

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hi Troubled Soul,

Although it appears men do tend to screw up (and down and sideways) more often than women based on those who submit questions here, however I can assure you there are at least a gazillion-and-one posts from chicks. Really there are. I just counted them.

Your HIV risk is unprotected sex, which does put you at some degree of risk for STDs, including HIV. However, your repeatedly negative HIV tests out to five months coupled with the fact your horizontal-tango partner tested HIV negative two months past your "completely out of character" experience indicate you are definitively and conclusively HIV negative. HIV is not your problem. No way. No how. No additional tests are warranted!

As for symptoms, please note HIV acute retroviral syndrome (ARS) symptoms become manifest two to three weeks after primary infection. Consequently your "diaririah" the following day or the abdominal pain three days later are certainly not HIV related. (Plus, we now know you definitively do not have HIV!)

To briefly address your other issues:

1. Yes, stress can cause all sorts of symptoms.

2. No, it's not possible for a man to be a carrier and never test positive yet transmit HIV to a woman.

3. Your doctors seem to think this is all in your head. I agree. Your problem is fear of HIV, not HIV itself. This may all be the result of guilt over your lapse in judgment. Counseling may help you confront these fears.

4. Is it possible you are HIV infected? Nope! Absolutely not.

5. Regarding possible PID, I have no way of evaluating this over the Internet and recommend you follow up with your gynecologist.

Thanks for your donation to the Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation (

Dr. Bob

l think hiv meds are worse that hiv
Am I HIV Resistant

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