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Really Worried - I'm So Stupid

Jan 11, 2009

I did something extremely stupid last night and am now really shitting myself with worry.

I am in Thailand and had sex last night with a ladyboy. I was extremely drunk and wasn't thinking at all straight. I'm now really worried that I may have caught HIV and I can't stop thinking about it. I can't believe how stupid I was.

I want to explain quite graphically what happened as hopefully someone will be able to give me an indication of the risk of infection.

We took turns sucking each others cock without protection, neither of us came but I was too drunk to notice whether he had any pre *** release. I don't have any cuts in my mouth, although did have quite chapped lips a few weeks ago. I also have a lip piercing.

I had anal sex with him using a condom, I have quite a large cock but I'm sure he takes it all the time and was quite accomodating - I certainly didn't notice any blood. Here's the real stupid part.. I then got him to **** me, but we only had the one condom which was the one on my cock, so he just pulled it off, put it on his cock and ****** me. His cock was alot smaller than mine so the condom probably wouldn't have been very tight.

God, just typing this makes me feel sick, I am so stupid.

After a while of ******g, I think I sucked him off some more. I then found out a bit later on that apparently he came while ******g me. I'm not 100% sure he did and may have just been saying it for the sake of sounding pleasured, he was still quite hard after so may well have been lying about *******. He would have had the condom on at the time but I very much doubt it was a good fit.

He also rimmed me for quite a while too.

After the act, he left and I just feel asleep on the bed, I didn't wash my *** out all night.

I fingered myself this morning just to see if my *** smelt of ***, but all I could smell was condom lubrication - obviously not the greatest test!

Clearly this ladyboy gets ****** by different guys on a very regular basis. The fact that he carried a condom and washed twice (once before and once after the act) is a little more positive, but clearly he's still a very high risk.

I am so ******g stupid, and am now really worried.

What makes it worse is that I am in a relationship back home and now don't know what to do because I have just read it takes up to 14 weeks to be able to take the test.

When I get home, my partner is obviously going to want to have sex and I don't know what to do. If I come clean and explain that I would rather wait for 14 weeks and explain the reasons why then 100% certain my relationship will be in tatters.

I'm so mad at myself

Response from Dr. Frascino


Well, if you were having sex with a "ladyboy," you obviously weren't "thinking at all straight!" You'd be thinking at least "bi-curious", right? Anyway, on to your concerns . . . which, by the way, have more redacted words than a classified Bush torture memo!

Since you were "extremely drunk" and not completely clear on who did what to whom and you reused the same condom but in a different back door, there obviously is at least some degree of risk for STDs, including HIV.

My advice is that, despite your fears, you level with your partner. It's not only the best way to confront your guilt; it's also the right thing to do. That way you both can take extra precautions (latex condoms) to assume there is no chance of HIV transmission during the three-month window period until you can confirm your definitive HIV-negative status. Strong relationships are built on honesty and trust, especially when the going gets rough. Perhaps you could show him this post. It clearly demonstrates how ****ing mad you are at yourself and also your loving concern for your partner.

Good luck.

Dr. Bob

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