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Former question ( Fingering & Handjob )
Jan 9, 2009

I am a wee bit nervous so I'll cut to it...I submitted a very long question earlier today. Can you please answer? I am very nervous and no I am not traditionally a nutter! Again, please answer. As I said before donation is on its way. Cheers/Shalom, Jacob

Dear Dr. Bob,

Okay, as you have observed many of us end up in here multiple times. Whilst I appreciate your help I have no defense for myself or others for ending up in these forums multiple times.

A wee bit of background: Been married two and a half years. Like many of us marriage can have its ups and downs. My particular downs have been in the area of the bedroom. My wife doesn't fancy my ultra over active sex drive. Therefore, I went to an asian massage parlor on five or six times in the last year. In that course of time I have experienced some medical issues. Most of them in the last two months. I have never slept(had sex with any of them. Not ever.) Mainly, because in some daft way I thought that was cheating. Errr, I know how bloody foolish is that logic? As if being there in the first place isn't wrong to begin with. Meaning, whilst in any relationship. I reckon if I wasn't married or in a relationship I would only be half as worried. The only one that would reap the wirlwind would be me! Like others in here my wife is expecting. Or, I should say we are expecting. Obviously, I am happy and scared at the same time. Mostly, terrified!

In November I went to doctors office because I was feeling a bit run down with a achy throat...not all that sore. Yes, I suppose I do run to hospital at the drop of a hat. I reckon a wee bit mental when it comes to health and diseases. At that time my blood was drawn. Everything was normal but my neutrophils.They were slighgtly low. I do not know the difference between "neutrophil %" and, "neutrophil ABS". My physician was not at all worried. Does this tend to fluctuate? I haven't a clue. The internet is a scary place when doing all this research. That is really worry number one.

Worry number two; is the sore throat and major fatigue I experienced over Hannukah and the Xmas hoilidays this year. Last week I went back in to the doctor's office where he took some more blood. He tested me for Mono/Ebv and CMV. I have a history with EBV. I have gotten mono at least three times that has been documented. I still am fuzzy about that. Some believe you can get mono more than once whilst others seem to say that isn't possible. I think anything after the first episode is considered a reactivation of EBV. Yeah? This new thing he tested for was this CMV. I have never heard of it? Why would he do this? At that time he said it was most deffinately a virus. No meds would help this but rest. I never has a temp or anything. If I did it was very minor. I did however have a massive sore throat. My left tonsil was on fire. After a week I went back to see him complaining of this once again. That is when he ran the Mono Spot and CMV tests. I am currently waiting on the results. Oh, forgot one wee part. He did give me Amoxicilan prior to this visit. It didn't do a thing. At the time he took the Mono/CMV bood he gave me something called magic mouth wash and put me on Biaxin, I take this Biaxin twice a day. I seems to be well working. However, the left tonsil is now doing fine whilst the right one has enlaged with no pain--just redness.Previous, to this the left tonsil had some minor puss coming out of that "crevis" behind the actual tonsil. I got two little cave looking areas behind each tonsil. Either way the Biaxin seems to be working to stop the pain. Should I be worried that the right tonsil is now enlarged with no pain? Whether I am a massive hypochodriac or not it is bigger.

Back to my massage escapades...was any of my behavior a significant risk? I thought it was no risk really. I had no cuts on my fingers whilst I was doing the vaginal fingering. The workers had no cuts on them that I noticed whilst wanking me off. But, there is my fear! What I may not have noticed.

Medical background; I do have allergies, HPV-that has been sorted via frozen therapy, as well as herpes-I take acyclovir 400 twice a day. I haven't had a break out once since being on this and I have been on acyclovir since 2002.

So, after this massively long query--Can you help me? Was I at risk? Do I need testing? I really am scared as hell!!! Lastly, I was tested before I met my wife. I have had no sexual partners since that time but my wife. My wife has tested before we became intimate at my request. She too is negative. And, they also did testing for all sti's once we knew we were "preggers" this past October.

Am I just worrying way too much here? Is this totally daft? Was I at no risk and I am dealing with this massive guilt trip? If you wouldn't mind could you address all my issues. I know you won't write a disertation on all of this but clear cut answers are needed.Do any of my medical issues have anything to do with this?Please mate I'd be very appreciative!!! Can you answer asap? As always a donation is on its way! By the way I am a very liberal attorney and thus appreciative for all the efforts your making to make this world a better place for all of us.

Shalom & Cheers, Jacob

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Jacob,

Oy vey! You may not "traditionally be a nutter," but Jacob, I think the men in white suites carrying butterfly nets and straightjackets may be heading your way sooner than you think.

"If you wouldn't mind could you address all my issues?" No, Jacob, I can't address all your issues. Right now you have more issues to pick through than the school nurse on lice day. And some of those issues are bigger than the September issue of Vogue! Consequently I'll just hit the high points and then offer some advice.

Your HIV-acquisition risk is essentially nonexistent, assuming the skin on your fingering fingers was intact.

The major reason to consider HIV testing is to put any residual HIV worries permanently to rest.

". . . Am I dealing with a massive guilt trip?" BINGO! I absolutely agree!

Now for the advice:

1. Level with your wife. Not only is it the best way to deal with your "massive guilt trip;" it's also the right thing to do.

2. Consider couples counseling to work out your sexual frustration issues.

3. Follow up with your general internist regarding your tonsil problems and EBV (yes, it can reactivate). These are not HIV-related issues. In fact the only HIV-related issue you have is fear of being HIV infected!

Good luck Jacob.

Dr. Bob



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