Donation Made From Guy Stuck In Thailand Due To Riot - Please Reply
Dec 29, 2008
Hi Dr Bob, Im Barry from California. (The guy who was stuck in Thailand due to the riot during Nov 08 and unable to go home) Sorry to bother you again because Im about to go crazy thinking every single day about the dumb things I did in Thailand. Thank you very much and I am very grateful that you replied my previous 2 posts. 1st Post: http://www.thebody.com/Forums/AIDS/SafeSex/Current/Q197844.html 2nd Post: http://www.thebody.com/Forums/AIDS/SafeSex/Current/Q197950.html I read your replies many times every single day to bring my level of anxiety down. I remembered the second girl whom I had 10 times protected sex & unprotected blowjob with told me she had chapped lips. I saw her using that brand NIVEA WHITE LIPSTICK. OMG...she has chapped lips and gave me unprotected oral sex... Does that pose any risk....??? I mean what if she could be bleeding like a female vampire due to chapped lips while giving me blowjob??? (Though I didnt see any blood) You know the condoms I used is called Durex and its so thin as if nothing is there. Sorry I have not use any condoms for quite a while because I have sex with my wife only. That few packets of condoms were bought from the local convenience store by my friend. The feeling of using condoms is like I am having sex without a condom with my wife... I mean can I really trust condoms? This time I made a dumbest mistake ever in my life. I took your advice and had a long talk with my wife. Although she threatened to castrate me during Christmas, she forgave me for the sake of the family. I also promised her to completely stop smoking which I did. What worries me now is - Am I at risk because I missed out the fact that she had chapped lips? Are I having unwarranted fears over the whole incident? I really cannot concentrate on my daily routine and it feels like a big burden to me.....Please help me...only your response can calm me down.
Response from Dr. Frascino
Hello again Barry,
Chapped lips or no chapped lips, Nivea white lipstick or no Nivea white lipstick, my assessment and suggestions remain absolutely unchanged. Your anxiety is way out of proportion to any real HIV-transmission risk, Barry. If you can't control these irrational fears and it's affecting your daily life, consider getting some counseling and/or anti-anxiety medication. This could help considerably.
By the way, I'm delighted you quit smoking, leveled with your wife and still have your low hangers intact!
Good luck. Be well, Barry.
$200 Donation When I Come Back Dec 12, 2008
Hi Dr Bob, please help a guy who is now stuck in Thailand due to the riot and unable to go back to his country. Ok I am very worried that I could have gotten something. 1st Case: On the 20th Nov 08, my friend and I got a club girl to my room and both had unprotected oral sex together with no vaginal sex at all. I mean the club girl gave us both oral sex at the same time. 2nd Case: on the 25th Nov 08, 5 days later, I met another girl in Disco and we had sex 10 times for the past 5 days with condom every single time but no condom when she suck me. I didnt went down on her at all for all 10 times. On the 30th Nov 08, I had white discharge from my penis and went to see the local doctor and he confirmed it's gonorrhea after a lab test and will be fine after some treatment for 5 days. Doctor gave me injection (Ceftriaxone) as well as tablets to take and tell me not to worry. The girl I met at the disco told me she had gonorrhoea before and she went to pharmacy to get the medicine for treatment which I doubt she got it treated well because she did not get any sorta injection like Ceftriaxone. I suspect she pass me to me when she was sucking my unprotected cock everytime we had sex. The problem is I used a condom 100% throughout the 10 times we've sex. 1) How did I gotten gonorrhoea? 2) Is it by having UNPROTECTED ORAL SEX OR PROTECTED VAGINAL SEX with her? 3) Should I be worried about HIV? If through protected vaginal sex means the condom have holes, that means can get HIV. I checked the condom throughout the 10 times after having sex and there is no break or leakage. All my cum were inside....... I'll get myself tested in 3 months time if I ever make it back home in one piece. On the 3rd Dec 2008, I took her for a HIV screening and she is negative. The past 3 months before she met me, she had sex with other guys but not many because not much tourist in Thailand and business is bad and she confirmed with me that all the time she used condoms and there were no accidents, breakage or whatsoever with other guys. She even showed me the condoms in her handbag. She is a street walker by the way. On the 6th Dec 2008, after taking the medication prescribed by the doctor, went back and did a urine test, doctor says I am ok and no more gonorrhoea, Clamydia.... Please reply me Dr Bob and tell me not to worry..... First I am stuck here and unable to go home and secondly I am very worried about this now. Its like hell here for me and no longer an enjoyable holiday......
Response from Dr. Frascino
Regarding the first case, unprotected insertive oral sex carries a very minimal risk for HIV acquisition. Other types of STDs, such as syphilis, herpes, gonorrhea, chlamydia, etc., can be readily transmitted via an unprotected blowjob.
Regarding the second case, "protected" sex is indeed protected if the latex condoms were used properly and did not break. HIV and other STDs cannot permeate intact latex. No way. No how. Unprotected oral sex carries the same minimal risks discussed above.
Responding to your specific questions:
1. Unprotected oral sex.
2. Unprotected oral sex.
3. Your HIV-acquisition risk is extremely low, especially since you've had the case #2 gal tested and she is negative.
I should also mention condoms do not have "holes!" Why would anyone wear them if they did? Latex is not made of the same material as fishnet stockings!
Should you worry? No.
Should you get HIV tested at three months to put your residual fears permanently to rest? Yes. Should you practice safer sex techniques to prevent future episodes of post-sex worrying? Absolutely!
Thanks for your donation to the Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation (www.concertedeffort.org).
Happy Holidays. Hope you get home soon!
$300 Donation For One Last Question. Please Dr Bob Dec 17, 2008
Hi Dr Bob, wonder if you still remember me (Barry). The guy who was stuck in Thailand due to the riot and post a question and you replied me on the 12th Dec 2008. Now Im finally made it back to California after being stuck in Thailand for about a month. Will be making the $300 donation instead of $200 as promised. I must say your reply really did calm me down alot while I was still stuck in Thailand. Now I am back home, I cant stop thinking about that incident. I even called the Thai girl and question her about her health and stuff like that. The Thai girl whom I had 10 times protected sex and unprotected oral sex with. I took her for HIV and tested negative. My gonorrhoea has been completed treated and did a urine test already. Doctor confirmed everything is cleared. You know the doctor in Thailand told me because you had sex with lady and came in contact with her fluid and unprotected oral sex cant get you gonorrhoea. That really put me in big time confusion because I used a condom every single time when I had sex with her. Only when I had oral sex, I did not use a condom. The doctor told me that condoms have holes too and sometimes HIV can pass through those holes. I mentioned in my earlier post. The 1st case was a club girl gave me and my friend unprotected blowjob only. My friend went to the toilet bowl to cum and I cum in her mouth. The 2nd case was this Thai girl whom I had unprotected oral sex and protected vaginal sex with. 1) You know how serious matter is gonorrhoea to me? Although I used a condom 100% for the 10 times and condom DID NOT BREAK when I had sex with the Thai girl. Why are you so sure that gonorrhea was gotten from unprotected oral sex and not from protected vaginal sex? 2) I mean what if during sex, the condom have microscopic holes which we cant see or maybe after sex when I took off the condom and my hands came in contact with her vaginal fluid and then go into my urethra and stuff like that or maybe...? Did that come across your mind? 3) Do you think I can have unprotected sex with my wife as usual so she will not suspect? 4) You say my fear for HIV is unwarranted...I mean I just got treated for gonorrhoea.....its a STD that happened to me for the 1st time in my whole entire life ...What are my odds? Ive not been having sex with my wife since I came back home and I think she is starting to suspect what I did in Thailand and I had to lie to her that I hurt my dick when I fell down the stairs. I am so stressed that Im smoking 2 packets of cigarettes everyday till the day I get myself tested in 2 months time. I feel so guilty and everyday I wake up I am thinking about HIV....Dr Bob, please give me some hope in my life....I really wish to go back to my normal life with my lovely wife and 2 kids.....I love them very much....Can I go back to my normal life?
Response from Dr. Frascino
The doctor you saw in Thailand who told you that you can't get gonorrhea from oral sex and that condoms have holes in them that allow HIV to pass through was a blithering idiot. Period.
1. Gonorrhea is a very common STD. It is easily contracted via oral sex and readily treated by antibiotics. You cannot contract gonorrhea via protected sex, because the bacteria cannot permeate intact latex. No way. No how.
2. Condoms do not have microscopic holes. Period!!! All of your "what ifs" have crossed my mind. As you can probably imagine, you are not the first guy to have these concerns! My assessment and advice remain absolutely unchanged.
3. I would suggest you level with your wife. It's not only the best way to confront your guilt; it's also the right thing to do. (I doubt she believes the "fell down the stairs and hurt my dick" story anyway.)
4. Protected sex is indeed "protected," assuming the latex condoms were used appropriately and did not break. The HIV-transmission risk would be essentially nonexistent. Unprotected oral sex carries a very low risk for HIV transmission. The estimated per-act statistical risk for acquiring HIV from unprotected insertive oral sex with a partner confirmed to be HIV positive is 0.5 per 10,000 exposures. Your risk is much less, as at least one of your partners tested HIV negative and the other one's HIV status is unknown.
Barry, I do see one major health problem in your post: smoking! I strongly urge you to stop immediately. If you don't I have no doubt that smoking will kill you in a very painful and undignified fashion.
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