Dec 26, 2008
LIBERATION. It's over. Six months of hell are finally over. This was the worst six months of panic, obsession, depression, and anxiety of my life, at least for the past ten years.
I tested negative today after six months since last exposure. Six months clean. At least six tests, including multiple blood tests and rapid tests, as late as three, four, five, and six months. Countless hours of thought. Countless hours of "research." Countless missed moments of my life, which I cannot get back. I feel like I have been disassociated with the world for six months. I feel like I have aged five years. I know I have gained twenty pounds!
My original exposure was low risk: Protected Insertive vaginal intercourse with a sex worker of unknown status. Very brief, no condom breakage. My OCD took over, and despite my repeated testing, I continued to obsess over my HIV risk.
All that I can do is share my story. I have nobody to blame for my drunken episode with the sex worker. But if you are obsessed, worried, and feeling anxiety over a possible HIV exposure, then you need to know that you are not alone. Others feel the same way. I have no right to tell you when or how often to test. I leave that to the experts. But I will tell you that I have suffered mentally and physically from my own irrational fear and panic over the past six months, and my relationships with loved ones have also no doubt suffered. I am very thankful to be HIV negative, and I am thankful for my psychiatrist, and the anxiety medication that helped pull me through this mentally. I am also thankful for quality HIV resources, such as Dr. Bob on thebody.com.
One more thing. Woohooo! Time to move on! Thank you Dr. Bob for your wonderful guidance and effort. Happy holidays!
Response from Dr. Frascino
I'm delighted Santa Claus brought you exactly what you wanted for Christmas! WOO-HOO!
Be well. Stay well. Nol!
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