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panic attack, risky or not?!?!?!
Nov 30, 2008

on wednesday night i went out to have sex with the same guy i that gave m oral last time, ever since then both of us hadnt done it with anyone else. i am really worried because this is what we did, before i went to do it with him, i shaved my stomach and abdomen area without any lotion or anything, so it was dry. i realized that one of my little razor bumps on my skin started to leak a little little tiny bit of blood, it was like a blood dot. since i noticed it, i decided to put on a band aid. after i did that, we went out in the car and went in the back seat and got naked, we put on condoms, (both of us) we started to madly makeout hardcore and touch eachother, soon, he masturbated my penis and i masturbated his, after that he got on top of me, (not for anal, but for frottage, just to rub our penises and grind them together) so we did that, and as we were doing that i looked down and noticed my band aid wasnt there anymore, and to be completely honest, i cannot remember if i felt him rubbing his penis up against my stomach or abs, where i shaved and there was the razor bumps on my skin and that little bloody bump. Dr am i at a really risky transmission for hiv or stds? by the way, we are both hiv negative. i told him i was paranoid and he told me to calm down. he said, calm down man, even if i did rub my penis against your shaving bumps or the bloody little bump, i had a condom on anyways, so its safe. he told me that but i keep thinking to myself, what if the sperm went through the condom if he did rubbed up against my little bloody spot and his sperm went into my blood stream or system? is that really risky for transmission even if we are both hiv negative and wore condoms? PLEASE HELP DOCTOR, AS I AM TERRIFIED. oh and i have another question, how long can sperm live outside the body? like if you masturbate, and sperm gets all over your hands, will it still survive if you wash it off with soap with really cold water? and another quick question, can you get hiv or stds from penis on penis frottage? (with condom on) thanks for your time doctor, i would really appreciate advice on my first and more important question, my situation. please let me know if i am at a really risky situation from my sexual behavior. thanks.

p.s- hope you had a great thanksgiving.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

Your post again vividly demonstrates why we desperately need age-appropriate, science-based sex education in our schools! I can only assume you're yet another victim of Dubya's disastrous abstinence-only-until-marriage sex education programs. Or perhaps you were home schooled, which may be even worse.

At any rate, you report being TERRIFIED (all capital letters!), because you and your buddy, both of whom are HIV negative, put condoms on and had a backseat make-out session involving masturbation and frottage!?!?!? Dude, your razor burn is not an HIV risk for several reasons. First, if you are both HIV negative, you can't give each other HIV! You can't give away something you don't have to give! (See below.) Second, latex condoms do not allow HIV to pass through them. If they did, condoms really wouldn't be all that useful now would they?

You report being "paranoid." I agree. However, I feel this is due primarily to irrational fear and not understanding the basics of HIV transmission and prevention. I strongly advise you spend some time (lots of time) reading through the wealth of information on this site and in the archives. You have lots of remedial work to do! The archives of this forum have whole chapters on HIV sexual transmission, HIV sexual prevention, safer sexual techniques and many related topics. Check them out.

Stop worrying. You're fine.

Dr. Bob

Question (HIV FROM TWO HIV NEGATIVES) Jan 20, 2007

I was just wondering. Can AIDS come out of no where? Like, if two people are disease free, can an infection occur between them like AIDS assuming they haven't had any other sexual partners. (Asking this about both Hetero and SameSex couples for a paper)

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

Do you really think there is even a remote possibility that AIDS can come out of nowhere?????" I'm glad you are doing a paper, because you obviously have much to learn. See below.

Dr. Bob

AIDS Jan 3, 2007

can you get AIDS or HIV by having anal sex or vaginal sex with someone who does not have AIDS or HIV? Such as if semen was to make contact with blood in the body near the anus area.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

That this question comes up so very often is a stark reminder of just what a shameful job our country is doing "educating" folks about HIV and STDs in general. No doubt you were home schooled or a product of an "abstinence-only" sex education program. Right? Yeah, I suspected as much.

Now please think this through rationally, OK? HIV is an STD, a sexually transmitted disease, caused by a germ, a virus called human immunodeficiency virus. If neither you nor your partner has the AIDS virus (HIV), how can you possibly transmit or catch it from each other???? "Semen coming into contact with blood in the body or near the anus" doesn't create an HIV virus out of thin air any more than it can create a million dollars. So, for instance, if your sex partner isn't already a millionaire, would you expect him to suddenly have a million dollars just because you had sex with him? Of course not! The same thing applies to germs that neither of you have as well!

See below. I'll reprint a similar question from the archives. Please spend some time reviewing the information on this site and at its related links that pertains to how HIV is and is not transmitted, OK?

Good luck. Get informed! Stay safe. Stay well.

Dr. Bob

Anal sex and aids (CAN TWO HIV NEGATIVES CONTRACT HIV FROM EACH OTHER?) Sep 20, 2006

my husband and i had unprotected anl sex neither of us have aids or HIV and i we are in a monogomus relationship. what are my chances of contacted the HIV virus

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

Can two HIV-negative people contract HIV/AIDS from having unprotected anal sex with each other? Astoundingly this has become another QTND (Question That Never Dies)! It dramatically points out (1) the failure of sex education, (2) the failure of HIV/AIDS-prevention efforts and (3) the lack of common sense to conquer irrational HIV fears.

I'll reprint a post from the archives that addresses your concerns. I also suggest you spend some time reading the information on this site related to how HIV is and is not transmitted.

Stay well.

Dr. Bob

Quick question - please help!

Sep 3, 2006

Hi Dr. Bob,

My gay partner and I are both HIV- but just now we've gone wild and we performed unprotected sex. Is there a chance to get HIV from unprotected sex if both parties are HIV-? I am really worried now. Please help. Thank you!

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

"Can you get HIV from unprotected sex if both parties are HIV negative?" Here we go again. Another QTND: Question That Never Dies. Dudes, think about this rationally. HIV is a germ, a virus. Right? OK, check. Germs are spread from an infected person to an uninfected person. For instance, a common cold can be transmitted through the air if the infected person coughs or sneezes on an uninfected person. Right? OK, check. Sexually transmitted diseases, like the clap or syphilis, can be transmitted when the infected person has unprotected sex with an uninfected person. Right? OK, check. Now with this very basic information (even Dubya should understand this much), do you think you can answer your own question? Hint #1: HIV is a sexually transmitted disease.

Hint #2: HIV cannot spontaneously appear just because two uninfected guys get horned up and do a horizontal mattress mambo, forgetting to dress for the occasion. (That would be about as logical as the bizarre notions of "intelligent design" and "virgin birth.") Hint #3: You can't give something away that you don't have to give. Otherwise I'd ask you for a million dollars. But if you don't have a million dollars, you can't give it to me, right? And even if we had nookie, a million dollars wouldn't appear, no matter how hot the encounter may have been. Right? OK, check.

So, what's your final answer?!?

Hint #4: Dubya probably thinks you can indeed get HIV this way. So considering Dubya has been and continues to be wrong about absolutely everything from the war in Iraq to WMD to Mission Accomplished to Katrina to the economy to the environment to evolution/intelligent design to stem cell research, etc., etc., etc., does this help sway your answer?

OK, if you're still confused, write back and I'll provide more hints.

Dr. Bob



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