Oral sex + mouthwash scenario = very worried!!!
Nov 29, 2008
Hi Dr Bob, firstly I think you are doing a fantastic job - keep up the good work!!
Here's the scoop: I went to see a Japanese sex worker, she washed out her mouth with mouthwash then proceeded to give me unprotected oral sex on my penis. My foreskin got pulled back - it was for no more than 2 minutes before I came in her mouth - she caught a little bit but most of it went on my stomach.
I know this was so very very stupid with all the info out there about safe sex. I am an idiot.
I had no cuts on my penis and have never had unprotected vaginal sex in my life. I have had unprotected oral sex twice in my life. I asked her if she got tested for STD's and she said 'once a month' and that she was 'very clean'. My own penis has no visible cuts or abrasions or sores etc but i know that the skin under the foreskin and the urethra are not like the skin everywehere else in that they can absorb HIV - is this correct?
Secondly, would the presence of mouthwash increase or decrease the chances of small cuts inside her mouth opening up to transmit it?
Thirdly, if there was no blood released from her mouth can saliva alone transmit it (if she had it?)
I have told my girlfriend the whole story and she has left me. I could not not tell her. Any advice on how to win her back? When should I get tested and what is my estimated risk of getting HIV given the scenario i have described.
Donation will be coming for sure!!
Thankyou for reading.
Response from Dr. Frascino
Oral sex carries only a very slight risk for HIV transmission/acquisition. Check out the archives. We have an entire chapter devoted to oral sex that addresses all your concerns.
1. Yes, the foreskin contains specialized cells that can attach to HIV and absorb the virus across the membrane. HIV can also permeate mucous membranes, such as the one that lines the urethra (pee hole).
2. It would neither increase nor decrease the odds of HIV transmission, but it would make her breath nice and pepperminty!
3. Saliva that does not contain visible blood is not felt to be a risk for HIV transmission.
4. Continue to admit you made a mistake and that you accept the consequences of your actions. Remind her you are being honest by leveling with her. Also, tell her you've learned from your mistakes and you are very sorry for your lapse in judgment. Then just give her time. Chances are she won't let a Mr. Right get away for all the wrong reasons. You could even send her a copy of this post and my response, if you think it will help. Couples that work through problems together actually come out of the experience stronger and more united than ever.
5. If you remain concerned about HIV, get a single HIV-antibody test at the three-month mark. The odds are astronomically in your favor that you did not contract HIV from this experience.
6. The estimated per-act risk for acquisition of HIV from unprotected insertive oral sex with a partner confirmed to be HIV positive is 0.5 per 10,000 exposures. Your estimated risk would be even less, as we do not know the HIV status of your Peppermint Patty.
Thanks for your tax-deductible donation to the Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation (www.concertedeffort.org). In return, I'm sending you my good-luck karma that not only will your HIV test be negative (I'm very confident it will be negative), but also that your girlfriend forgives you (I'm hopeful she will).
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