Are my odds greater than 6.5 in 10K?
Nov 26, 2008
I am in a committed relationship with my partner, and have not cheated on him before. Last week I was in Denver for a conference. Foolishly, I decided to go out on the town for a drink or two and stopped by a local watering hole. It was a friendly crown and a couple approached me and we chatted for a good portion of the night. I didn't drink very much, but by the end of the night I was feeling unusually buzzed. I knew I should be feeling worried, but I couldn't actually focus on being worried. I wanted to take a cab back to my hotel, and somehow I allowed them to come back with me. I'm not looking to abrogate my responsibility in all of this, but my control and common sense wouldn't kick in.
Unprotected sex occured. These guys were obviously looking for something to happen because they had lube, cockrings and poppers with them. In fact, they had everything but condoms.
I'm a top. I sucked both of them, and rimmed the guy who was the bottom pretty deep and for a long time as near as I can guess. Deep enough that I tore a little skin under my tongue. I was whiskey dicked, but they insisted on my trying to fuck the bottom. I was inside him without a condom for probably less than a minute before I gave up and told them I wasn't going to be able to get hard. The bottom wasn't that well cleaned out either from what the smell I remember. Based on what I read here, the bottom had the characteristics of facial wasting. While I know this doesn't mean he is positive, that coupled with taking a random guy from the bar increase it's possibility for me.
That was all early Thursday morning. I didn't get back home until yesterday, and I'm beyond the 72hrs you recommend for PEP.
Today I feel mild body aches, and have a low grade fever of 99.3. My normal temp is in the 96-97 degree range.
I'm pretty terrified to be honest, not only that I have become infected, but that I have also destroyed my relationship once what happened comes out. I do love him though, and do not want to risk his infection before I know for certain.
12 weeks seems to be my only option at this point based on what I've read. I know that there is the possibility of 6.5 in 10,000, but based on the fact that I came into contact with what I remember as his feces on my penis, I'm hopeful to find out that it hasn't drastically increased 6.5 statistic.
Of course I have no way to get in contact with these people. I'm fully willing to entertain my aches and pains are mentally inflicted at this point.
Response from Dr. Frascino
Hello Terrified Top,
Denver cowboys with lube, cock rings and poppers, but no condoms, picking up "whiskey-dicked" out-of-towners for some Brokeback Mountain barebacking? Yep, that sounds like trouble to me. Your estimated per-act statistical risk, assuming your bottom-boy was virally enhanced, remains 6.5 per 10,000 exposures, despite the unpleasant surprise you found on your Mr. Happy. Contact with feces is not considered an HIV-transmission risk, unless there is visible blood present. As for rimming, there have been no documented cases of HIV transmission/acquisition from rimming or getting rimmed. However, you can transmit/acquire other STDs via this activity.
Finally, as far as your "control and common sense not kicking in," well, it's a well established fact that the higher powers gave men both a brain and a dick, but only enough blood to run one at a time.
My advice is:
1. Level with your partner. Use condoms with him until you can confirm your HIV status is still negative.
2. Get HIV tested at the three-month mark. "Symptoms" are unreliable. You need to be tested, due to your risk, not the presence or absence of symptoms. (The CDC also recommends a six-month follow-up test if you've had a significant exposure to someone confirmed to be HIV positive.)
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