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Medical Attention needed or not (ANOTHER CUCUMBER QUESTION)
Nov 16, 2008

Hi Doctor, Please help - this is an embarrassing yet worrying situation. I am a 30 year old woman and my boyfriend and I were indulging in foreplay in the kitchen. We were about to have sex and he then inserted a vertically chopped/sliced cucumber piece (cut and peeled) from the salad plate, around the length and density of a little finger in my anus. It got stuck and I'm worried about what to do. We stopped, and I have been worried since then. I have been passing stools normally since then - it has been over 24 hours. I'm not sure if it came out in the stools, or its still inside. If the latter, will it get digested or pushed out ultimately ? Is that safe ? I do not have pain so far, but yes, there is discomfort in the rectal and possibly lower abdomen area. Please advise,if i should ignore/forget about this, or go for a medical check-up. Or do some home remedy to get it out ? I swear I will never allow this again.

Thanks!

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hi,

Cucumbers seem to be getting a lot of action these days. (See below.) I doubt you need medical attention as result of your cucumber backdoor action. As the old saying goes, "Things have a way of working themselves out in the end." I would advise against "home remedies." If your discomfort persists or increases, you should be evaluated.

Dr. Bob

Could I get HIV/STD by masturbating ? Oct 12, 2008

Hi Doctor, i know this might sound stupid but im really worried, i have been masturbating for some time now and some of the times i forget to wash my hands. My question is, could i get std/hiv or any virus by fingering my self with my hands dirty or clean? i am really worried and i would really apreciate your answer.I also have another question, could you get std/hiv by masturbating with a bottle, pickel or any thing like that? Thank you.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

The answers to all your questions were waiting for you in the archives. The "cucumber" question is analogous to your pickle concerns. And for your bottle worries, check out Heineken-Up-The-Heinie Guy.

Dr. Bob

Cucumber Aug 14, 2005

Used a cucumber bought at grocery store as an anal toy. I was alone (I am a male.)I did not share it as it was a private masturbation. I put it in a stong bleach solution for 1 hour prior to use and washed it about 4 times with soap. was this an possible hiv risk.Iam married and just concerned. Thankyou

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

You marinated a cucumber for an hour in strong bleach and then washed it four times before sticking it up your butt, and you are worried about HIV???? Hmmm . . . just how much action do you think this cucumber had prior to your "picking him up" in the vegetable aisle? Even if the grocery store was a "Piggly Wiggly," you have absolutely nothing to fear. I suggest you spend some time on this site learning about sex, safer sex, basic HIV information and sex toys. I'm a bit concerned what might happen when you get to the watermelon aisle.

Dr. Bob

HIV - top of a bottle (HEINEKEN-UP-THE-HEINE) Jul 7, 2008

Dr. Bob, at first, I'd like to congratulate yourself for the wonderful job that you do (I'm sorry for my English - I am writting from brazil). Here is my question: there's about a month that I travelled and spent the weekend at a hotel. There, I took a water bottle from the refrigerator and started to masturbate with it (I am a man and put it inside of me). I am afraid that someone (maybe HIV+) may have jerked on the bottle, or put some bleed over it, in the meaning that if someone used the bottle as a sextoy, it would infect the people. Do I need to get tested ? I arrived ath the hotel on a Tuesday and used the bottle at saturday Morning. I couldn't notice any secretions over the bottle. Thanks so much and greetings from brazil.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Brazil-Guy,

You're worried about a water bottle from the refrigerator in the hotel room that you shoved up your heinie??? Hmm . . . just how much action do you think that water bottle gets? Do you need to get tested? No, of course not. I can assure you most folks wouldn't even consider mounting a bottle of Perrier or spunking up a bottle of San Pellegrino. Although I do remember another guy who worried about a Heineken. (See below.)

Dr. Bob

Have you thought of a book (Heineken-Up-The Heine Guy) Mar 20, 2008

Dear Dr Bob I think the world of you and would like to know if you have thought about collecting your questions in book form. (With details changed to protect the writer) My feeling is that your website has the total pulse on what people experience in the world today, their fears, quirks, foibles, the worried well, the reckless, etc. I think it would be valuable statement of the times in which we live. Just an idea. And again please know that you are one of the true wonders of the world for the work that you do.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hi,

Actually several readers have taken the initiative to start several different books of Dr. Bobisms over the years, but so far none has made it to press. Reviewing the archives could be a rather daunting task. However, if any enterprising forum fanatics want to attempt a Dr. Bob's Greatest Hits Collection, they certainly have my blessing. Just imagine if such a book made it onto Oprah's Book Club list! Although I tend to think many questions might be more suited to Jon Stewart's Daily Show. I'm not sure what Oprah would say about Heineken-Up-The-Heinie Guy. (See below.)

Dr. Bob

Can I get HIV from dried spit inserted in anus? Mar 8, 2007

Okay, I'm really worried that I might have gotten HIV last week. I'm so paranoid that I'm having trouble focusing in school and at work. Please answer this please!!! This is what happened. I came home from work and went straight to take a bath. My dad had told me that 2 of his cousins were staying the night with us. While in the bath I saw a beer bottle and decided to use it for anal pleasure. after having it been inserted in me for a few seconds (15- 30) I relized THIS MIGHT HAVE BEEN MY COUSINS USED BEAR BOTTLE!!!! I immediatly stopped and threw the bottle away. I also immediatly stopped pleasuring myself anally. I'm not sure that my dads cousins have AIDS, but they are promiscuous and I don't believe I had any tears in my rectum or anus. However, 3- 4 days before this happened I had stomach problems and had to wipe my anus while on the toilet. I did this many times and by the time my stomach stopped hurting the area around my anus was very sore and I'm sure that i had a few small abrasians from wiping so much. But I do believe that these healed before my beer bottle encounter and the beer bottle was dry (the saliva was dry). Is it likly that I could have gotten HIV from this. I plan on getting tested but I need to know something while I'm in the window period. Please please please respond to this. I'm very scared and will never do anything like this again.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

You stuck a beer bottle up your butt??? Hmmm . . . OK, let's review. When out drinking beer and someone yells "bottoms up," that's not what they mean, OK?

Returning now to your question, your HIV risk from your Heineken-up-the-heinie experience is nonexistent. But there can be other risks from ramming a Bud up your rosebud. So please be more discerning when choosing toys for your backdoor action.

Dr. Bob

Are my Symptoms a sign of early HIV infection Mar 16, 2007

Hi, I recently posted a question on this site about my risk of catching HIV. My post was responded and it told me I had ZERO-Risk! However, I'm still a little worried and want to know if the symptoms I'm suffering from are HIV related. My ZERO- RISK exposure happened 2 and a half weeks ago. My symptoms are as follows: 1. 1 day of diarreah (I'm not too worried about this becuase I had eaten spicy food the day before.) 2. I had a canker sore ( my doctor told me it was from stress) 3. Slight lower rib cage discomfort. 4. It's hard to explain this but my throat is slightly sore but only in my lower throat. It also feels as if I'm having trouble breathing. Like my lungs are trying to puch the air I breath out. All of these symptoms are very much mild however, I'm freakin out about numbers 4 and 3 becuase I don't recall ever feeling this way. Thankyou for your time. P.S. you might remember me "Heinikin-in the-hiny".

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Heineken-up-the-Heinie Guy,

Are you back again??? Exactly what part of "nonexistent risk" are you having difficulty understanding.

Dude, HIV is not your problem. No way. No how. Consequently, your symptoms could not possibly be HIV related, right? Of course right!

Dr. Bob

A Few more "What If's" and Risk Apr 6, 2007

Hey Dr. Bob, it's Hieniken-up-the-Hiny Guy again. I've been coping weel for the last two weeks, but I've recently put myself back into a panic. Please just entertain this one last question even though you've already answered me. Okay so the bottle... it was on the back of the toilet so the person who used it probably was taking a crap... so if a minimal amount of feces was on it and if the person using it had spit into it and had blood in their mouth is there more of a risk? Even though it wasn't used for at least 20 minutes? Also, I have a small rash, which my parent think is a heat rash, and a sore throat and a few bumps on my inner thigh. I'm so worried. I understand that there are many people who have questions far greater than mine and I understand if it takes you a while to answer this question but please do. Thanks, you're an awesome person!

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

OK, Heineken-Up-The Heine Guy,

Enough is enough. Looks like I'm going to have to put out a restraining order on you! Dude, it's time for you to see a psychiatrist. You are what-if-ing yourself right into the loony bin! You may think you've been coping "weel," but I can assure you, if you are concocting scenarios like the possibility of poop on a beer bottle that an HIV-positive guy with a bloody mouth then spit into before you decided to shove the whole kit and caboodle up where the sun don't shine, well, let me tell you, you don't need an HIV expert; you need a shrink's couch. Just to calm your completely whacko fears once again, see below. And why are you going to learn the correct spelling of Heineken and Heine?

Dr. Bob



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