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Please help!!!!!!!!!

Nov 14, 2008

Dr. Robert J. Frascino:

Glad to hear of your recent marriage and love your sense of humor. My life, marriage, and health seems to be falling apart at the seams minute by minute. I hope you read my entire blog and are able to answer my fears, questions, and concerns.

I started having an affair with a younger man September 2007, which was the biggest mistake of my life. Ended the relationship July 19,2007 after realizing I was having a mid-life crisis. I feel like a real idiot and do not have the courage to discuss this with my husband.

He wore a condom during each sexual encounter. We had sex about 4-5 times a week. It got a crazy and wild at times, which resulted in a broken condom Jan. 12, 2007 and condom slipped off first weekend in May.

My last sexual affair with him was July 19, 2008. We had oral and vaginal sex. Oral was unprotected and vaginal protected to my knowledge. We were in doggy style position and I did not feel the condom break or slid off.

Around August 26th I went to the hospital, because I felt like I was dying. I was shaking uncontrollably and every bone/muscle in by body was sore. I did not have a fever or swollen lymph nodes. HIV and panel of STD tests came back negative. I only tested positive for Herpes 1. All my blood work came back CBC, Liver Enzymes, etc.

Do you think I was seroconverting and it did not show up on the test? We used protection my last sexual encounter on July 19, 2008. Please tell me what are the odds of me being infected? Is the test 90% accurate at 5 weeks 4 days?

I know my life will not end if I have HIV, but my marriage will with my husband. I am so scared!!!!

I can not even have sex with my husband, because I am afraid I will give him HIV. I have learned so much about this chronic illness and have so much respect for the people that are infected.

Please give me some peace of mind about the test at 5 weeks and 3 days. I promise not to bother you wishes with your marriage.

Response from Dr. Frascino


You started your walk on the wild side with your youngster stud puppy in September 2007 and ended it in July 2007? Hmm . . . now that's what I call a short relationship: negative two months!

My advice is that you get an HIV test at three months or longer from your last potential exposure. A negative test at five weeks is encouraging, but not conclusive or definitive. Symptoms are notoriously unreliable in predicting who is and is not HIV infected. The reason to worry or get tested is potential exposure, not the presence (or absence) of symptoms!

In addition to getting tested, I'd recommend you level with your husband. It's not only the best way to confront your guilt; it's also the right thing to do.

Good luck!

Dr. Bob

HIV fear
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