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Why am I HIV negative?
Nov 13, 2008

MY husband has been HIV positve for approximately 3 years now. He insists that he has never been unfaithful, yet I am HIV negative. How can this possibly be? I have been tested 4 times. We have unprotected sex because he thinks I cannot catch it from him if he does not ejaculate inside of me. I am beyond worried about this, but I am puzzled as to how he became HIV infected in the first place. Can you please help me understand, and advise me on what to do. I am unable to even speak about this with my husband because he hates to discuss the subject at all. help me.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

Your husband has been HIV positive for three years and insists he has never been unfaithful to you. There are only three potential explanations:

1. Your husband's test was a false positive and he really is HIV negative.

2. Your husband acquired the virus before the two of you got together.

3. Your husband's claims of fidelity are untrue.

Statistically, option #3 turns out to be the most likely.

Your husband's claims that unprotected sex will not transmit the virus to you if he does not ejaculate inside of you are wrong. Dead wrong! HIV is contained in pre-ejaculatory fluid (pre-cum), which is very capable of transmitting the virus. Luckily, not every HIV exposure leads to HIV transmission/acquisition. However, each time you have unprotected sex with him, you are taking a very big risk, which could have disastrous consequences. Your concern is definitely warranted.

My advice:

1. Immediately stop having unprotected sex with your HIV-positive husband.

2. Get HIV tested at three and six months from the time of your last potential exposure (unprotected sex).

3. Even though your husband may "hate to discuss the subject," he really should have no option. Only he can provide the true answer as to how he became infected. He must also be made aware of the risk he is subjecting you to by continuing to insist on unsafe sex. Demand to go with him to see his HIV specialist and discuss this subject openly with the physician specialist. Couples counseling may be helpful and ultimately necessary to help your husband confront reality and help you retain your health and negative HIV status.

Good luck!

Dr. Bob



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