The Body: The Complete HIV/AIDS Resource
Follow Us Follow Us on Facebook Follow Us on Twitter Download Our App 
Professionals >> Visit The Body PROThe Body en Espanol
Ask the Experts About

Safe Sex and HIV PreventionSafe Sex and HIV Prevention
Rollover images to visit our other forums!
Recent AnswersAsk a Question
  • Email Email
  • Glossary Glossary


Oct 12, 2008

Hi dr bob,

Its hiv phobe uk again, thanks for responding to my last post.

I noticed you didnt respond to some questions over the last few days. How are you feeling in yourself? I hope your ok and was just taking a break from all the hard work you do!! Im sending you my good health karma hoping that everything is good. Dr I am feeling very low at the moment. I needed to tell someone and this is the only way I can do that. I cant speak to anyone at home. Even though you may not post this I know you manage (somehow) to check through every message in your inbox and you will see this.

Just to remind you briefly:

I visited a massage parlour,

I suffer from haemorrhoids (they may have been inflamed of slightly bleeding but I dont know if they were)

While at the parlour i shared a bath with masseuse, and have .a back massage ONLY! No sexual contact in the bath,

I then get out of bath and had an all over body massage for about 10 mins which is then followed by a hand job on the massage bed

NO KISSING, VAGINAL, ANAL OR ORAL SEX WHILE I WAS AT THE PARLOUR. I just shared a bath, massage hand job.

Like a lot of worriers I started analyzing the situation after it happened and fell in the typical what if circle of thoughts

+ What if she briefly touched her vagina before the hand job? + What if I came into contacted infected bodily fluids from a previous customer at the parlour and infection occurred through the hand job or the bath. + What if she had sores on her hand that I did not see? + What if some of her bodily fluids were transmitted through the bath water to any open lesion on my body?

I started experiencing symptoms after 20 minuets, burning passing water. This was probably due to massage oil or soap but then just three days later after visiting the massage parlour I had typical viral illness symptoms, sore throat, coughing, swollen white tonsils, loose stools for 1 day, swollen and painful nodes in the neck and mild fever these cleared up abit but now at 3 weeks I now have painful/swollen nodes in the neck, under arms and groin, I also seem to get a small red mark on my hand which is about the size of a drawing pin that gets reds then goes away over the space of about 20 minutes. I wouldnt say its a rash because it only happens in such a very small area. I also get itching on hand and thighs but no visible rash.

Ten days after the incident I had a full std screen and a hiv duo 1-2 test with p24 which was all negative. Im thinking of repeating the test at probably 6 weeks and 3 months to help with my anxiety! I cant seem to shake the worry of what happened, I feel guilty because I do have a wonderful girlfriend and I genuinely DO love her a lot!!! I dont know why I did what I did and I feel that I deserve what im going through right now. I have been very depressed since this incident happened just under a month ago. I stopped looking after my appearance and have lost interest in my life, friends and family. My doctor prescribed me anti depressants and recommended CBT therapy

Should I really not worry about what happened? Can i stop worrying about HIV. I dont know any more I feel so confused.

Anyways thanks for everything you do doctor. You are a truly amazing person. I wish you all the best I admire your work a lot and think its amazing that you use your own personal time to keep your forum at the body running.


Hiv phobe uk

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello HIV-Phobe UK,

Your HIV-acquisition risk is negligible to nonexistent. You correctly identified your problem when you wrote ". . . I feel guilty. . ." and ". . . I've been very depressed since this incident happened . . . ." Your problem is psychological, not virologic! I agree with your physician's recommendations for you to take anti-depressants and CBT therapy. That really is the path back to physical and mental wellbeing.

Finally, yes, I really do read through all the posts that cram their way into my inbox, even though I can only respond to a small percentage of them.

Good luck!

Dr. Bob


Dear dr bob,


how are you? good i hope.. and steve? hope you guys are happy as ever

You probably dont remember me, (hiv-phobe-uk) i have posted q's to you some years ago and you gave me a prompt answer... many thanks for that, anywho I NEED YOUR ADVICE PLEASE..

two days ago i visited a massage parlour.. i dont know why i did it and feel ashamed and upset..

i have had hemaroids with only slight bleeding in the past... (the last occasion was probably about 2 days before i went to the parlour)

when i got to the massage parlour i got naked with the massage girl and we shared a bath which had soap and bath foam in it, there was NO sexual contact just massage. then i dried my self with a towel provided by the parlour. i then had an all over body massage (using baby oil) with a happy ending on the massage bed. thing is though, i dont feel very happy now... 20 mins after leaving the parlour i noticed that i had discomfort passing water (burning feeling during and after) i have had no discharge though.. i went to my local clinic whom offered a screening, the doc did a physical exam and said everything looks ok and not to worry but will send off the a urine sample for testing. i am still awaiting for the results of the sexual health screen.

so my questions are,

1, if my heamaroids was bleeding slightly, could this be open to infection from her potential viginal secretions in the bath water?

2, could any hiv virus from the location, i.e towels, massage oil bottle, etc have come into my contact with my urethra while she was giving me a happy ending?

3, am i a worry wart or do u suggest testing for hiv?

i hope you do answer my q and give me my life back, like i say i have been a regular visitor to your forum and really do value your opinion, my logical brain is saying dont worry, my anxiety is driving me crazy..

hope to hear from you soon dr bob. takecare.

hiv phobe uk

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hi HIV-Phobe UK,

1. "heamaroids"??? "viginal"??? Hmm . . . I'll bet you've never tried the handy-dandy spell-check function on your computer, right?

The HIV-transmission risk due to hemorrhoids and vaginal secretions in bathwater is nonexistent.

2. How would I know? I wasn't there watching. Generally speaking, masturbation is not considered to be an HIV risk.

3. Worry wart.

4. All requests for dates must include recent photos, preferably in a Speedo or less.

Dr. Bob

re:please spiraling out of control.. what i thought was safe turned into a nightmare!
Your Political views Dr. Bob

  • Email Email
  • Glossary Glossary

 Get Email Notifications When This Forum Updates or Subscribe With RSS



This forum is designed for educational purposes only, and experts are not rendering medical, mental health, legal or other professional advice or services. If you have or suspect you may have a medical, mental health, legal or other problem that requires advice, consult your own caregiver, attorney or other qualified professional.

Experts appearing on this page are independent and are solely responsible for editing and fact-checking their material. Neither nor any advertiser is the publisher or speaker of posted visitors' questions or the experts' material.

Review our complete terms of use and copyright notice.

Powered by ExpertViewpoint