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several questions.

Sep 2, 2008

the other day, my boyfriend and i felt curious enough to try out sex. we're both virgins, by the way.

well, the thing is, we wanted to know how it felt. so he basically penetrated me for a few seconds, then that was it. not vaginally. anally. unfortunately, there was no condom available.

now here are my questions.

can you get pregnant from pre-ejaculation?

is it still considered sex if there was no climax?

probably an obvious question, but are there any health/STD risks from this?

and of course, i heard that when it comes to anal sex, and the two people are virgins, only the guy loses his virginity. is he still a virgin?

some of the burning questions have left me worried and confused.

thank you for any potentially helpful advice.

Response from Dr. Frascino


YIKES! Your questions once again dramatically demonstrate why we need to return science-based sex education to our schools immediately!!!! All readers please vote for Obama and the Democrats to prevent additional "worried and confused" sexually active young adults from having to wrestle with these "burning questions." As you can all clearly see, these two "curious" horned-up youngsters are concerned about protecting your virginity (even though they are unclear what virginity really is) while simultaneously placing themselves at risk for STDs, including HIV (assuming that one or both may have sexually experimented with others). Situations like these are a direct consequence of not providing science-based, age-appropriate sex education, including HIV/STD prevention to our adolescents and sexually active young adults. Enough is enough! Common sense must prevail in the upcoming elections. That means Obama and the Democrats!

Questioner, back to you! I can only assume you are a victim of home schooling or Dubya's disastrous abstinence-only-until-marriage sex education program, right? Yea, I thought so.

Here are quick responses to your direct questions, but I encourage you and your boyfriend to spend some time learning about sex, safer sexual techniques, HIV and HIV prevention. You both have much to learn (and potentially to lose and I'm not talking about your virginity!!!).

1. Can you get pregnant from pre-ejaculation? Yes, you can. But only if you are having vaginal sex. Anal sex with or without ejaculation cannot cause pregnancy. The plumbing doesn't work that way!

2. Is it still considered sex if there was no climax? Yep! The ol' in-and-out is sex, whether or not either one of you have the big "O."

3. Are there any health/STD risks from this? Yep! Unprotected sex places you at risk for STDs, including HIV. Plus, if you have vaginal nookie, unwanted pregnancy is also a distinct possibility.

4. "I heard that when it comes to anal sex, and the two people are virgins only the guy loses his virginity." Hmm . . . I wonder where you heard that. Perhaps from other sexually active friends who are protecting their "virginity pledge" while having wild (and often unprotected) oral and anal sex! Anal (and oral) sex will not break your hymen. If that anatomical definition of virginity is what you are referring to, you can perhaps convince yourself you are still a virgin, but there is absolutely no doubt you have had sex! So if your definition of virginity is based on whether you've had sex, well then the answer would be no. In medical terms, "virginity" denotes the state of a person who has not taken part in sexual intercourse. Consequently, you would not be considered a virgin.

Perhaps I should explain a bit more about virginity. It has a colorful history. Prior to genetic testing, only the bride's unbroken hymen could confirm the husband's paternity and hence, thereby insure the continuity of the family bloodline. Most likely the psychological effect of this archaic biological fact plays a fundamental role in most world religions' view on "virginity." Virginity represented avoidance of pollution of the bloodline and therefore was seen almost as a magic power. This predisposed virgins for specific magic and religious activities, such as sacrificing a virgin to the gods, etc. Permanent virginity became a central religious theme only with the rise of Christianity.

Prior to Christianity, virginity was a characteristic of female deities (Artemis/Diana, Athena/Minerva, etc.) A central theme of "modern" Christianity is a conscious choice of a permanent virginity lifestyle permitting a layperson complete devotion to God. The Old Testament book of Genesis talks about eating the fruit of knowledge, which symbolically represents the loss of virginity and results in the expulsion of Adam and Eve from paradise. And, of course, there is that story of virgin birth.

OK, enough history. We are getting off topic and you are confused enough already! It's time you learned about the facts. You have become sexually active and you need to learn how to protect your health, not your narrowly defined anatomical virginity.

Dr. Bob

Worried In Houston

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