Hiv and sex
Sep 1, 2008
I am hiv+pregnant and have recently started treatment, i am on Nevarapine and combivir. i am scared to sex with my husband and i have lost interest in it, im worried that this could affect our relationship. Am i still allowed to have sex and if the condom brakes what effect will it have on both of us?
Response from Dr. Frascino
Being scared to have sex with your husband and losing interest in having sex with him (or anyone else) are two different things, but they might be related. HIV can make even a sex goddess feel like her touch is toxic. It's not uncommon for HIVers to worry so much about infecting their partner that sex is no longer fun. Rather, it becomes anxiety provoking to the point it's easier to avoid it than deal with the realities of sex within a magnetic (mixed status) relationship. However, a sexless marriage is really not a good or even viable option for most couples (except perhaps Larry Craig and his wife, Reverend Ted Haggard and his wife and a whole slew of old grouchy sexually repressed rightwing nutty Republicans who are sex phobic).
I would suggest you and your husband read through the chapters in the archives of this forum related to magnetic couples, HIV sexual transmission, HIV sexual prevention and safer sexual techniques. Then talk to each other about your relationship, including your feelings and fears about sex. If communication is difficult, couples counseling or talking with your HIV specialist may help. There are a variety of ways to decrease the chance of accidental HIV exposure during sex. Plus, we have PEP (post-exposure prophylaxis) in case an accidental exposure does occur. You and your husband might even consider an extra layer of protection with PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis). You can read much more about all these issues in the archives.
Good luck. I'm hopeful you'll soon find your mojo and get your groove back on (so to speak).
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