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Im totally freaked out

Aug 8, 2008

Hello..ok, i have been with a guy for the last 4 weeks and found out he is HIV+, he told me he was a healthy HIV person whatever that means...but we did have deep kissing, oral...and i did cum in his mouth but he never came in mine..but im sure there was some pre cum..ok...i am now feeling my neck for swallon lymph nodes..and can find a hard node by the top of my jaw and have lost 8 lbs in 2 months....i have been traing for a 1/2 marathon and exercise alot..but could i be loosing weight that quickly if i was infected 4 weeks ago?..where are these lymph nodes i should be checking? I know its low risk..but have you had any patients that got HIV from oral and deep kissing? thank you,

Response from Dr. Frascino


As I have said so very often in this forum, we must assume all our sex partners could be HIV positive and take all the necessary precautions to prevent transmission of the virus. If we all were to take just that much responsibility for our health, no one would "totally freak out" if they found out, after the fact, that a recent liaison was with someone who is HIV positive.

To specifically address your concerns:

1. Would you be losing weight if you were infected with HIV four weeks ago? No. I'd be willing to bet your weight loss is due to your half-marathon training, perhaps coupled with some anxiety.

2. Where are these lymph nodes you should be checking? You shouldn't be trying to check your lymph nodes! Unless you've been to medical school, you are not qualified to evaluate what is normal and what would be considered lymphadenopathy (swollen nodes). Stop poking around. It makes you look ridiculous and besides you have no idea what you're trying to feel.

3. Have I had patients who contracted HIV from deep kissing? No. Have I had patients who contracted HIV from oral sex? Yes, but they had extenuating circumstances (oral trauma, blood in the mouth, etc.).

Finally, I agree with you: Your HIV-acquisition risk is very low. If you remain concerned, get a single HIV-antibody test at the three-month mark. I'm quite confident the results will be negative.

Good luck. Play safe to stay safe.

Dr. Bob

Follow up on "recently diagnosed, best friend stopped talking"
oral candidiasis

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