how do I eliminate people as my infector?

Jul 25, 2008

Hi I am recently confirmed HIV+ on 7/16/08 and am trying to learn as much as possible. I am currently battling Pneumoccal Pneumonia and have been hospitalized for it twice. My CD4 count came back as 64 and my doctor will start treatment later this week, hopefully.. My question.. is there any way to try and figure about how long I had HIV and who can I rule out as an infector? So it saves me from trying to find out for closure reasons.. I wasn't tested since I first came out in 2002, because of ignorance and trust of my few partners.. I have only been with 1 person for the last 3yrs..

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

I would urge you not to look back, but rather to concentrate on the realities of today and the promise of tomorrow. Time only travels in one direction: forward. You can't change yesterday, but tomorrow's possibilities remain wide open.

Because your CD4 count has dipped to 64, chances are quite high that you've been infected for a significant period of time, perhaps as long as 7 to 10 years. Attempting to find your "infector" will not change your current situation. Remember, it takes two to do the unsafe mattress mambo. You must assume responsibility for your actions, rather than look for someone else to blame.

That you were not tested due to "ignorance" again reflects that our current HIV/AIDS awareness, prevention and education programs are woefully inadequate. This is at least partially due to Bush's disastrous abstinence-only sex education policies.

As for "trust" of your partners, as I've often said, we must consider all our partners could be HIV infected and take all necessary precautions to prevent infection. Personally, I wouldn't trust someone's self-reported HIV status, even if he strapped a lie detector on his Mr. Happy.

My advice to you is to stop looking back and being looking forward, OK?

Dr. Bob