scared experimenting virgin
Jul 24, 2008
I am a male who is pseudo experimenting with his sexuality. I usually date women but I am attracted to men. I honestly have never had sex-vaginal, anal, or oral. However, I have been to the gay bar a couple of times. To date I have kissed a guy, been groped over the pants and grazing over the skin, and dancing. None of that I am worried about. However, the other day this guy stuck his hands down my pants and massaged my anal hole. There was no insertion just massage. I have been prone to hemmorhoids but didn't think I had them at the time. He was a stylist but not sure if he had cuts on his fingers. He must have irritated my hemmorhoids because when I got home that night I had some blood with pretty hard wiping. No blood with normal wiping. My question-what is my risk for HIV with a potential open hemorrhoid and what we know about him? Never thought I would worry about this as I would never have sex without a condom. Please help me!!!
Response from Dr. Frascino
Hello Experimenting Virgin,
He was a stylist? That's a bit stereotypical, but OK. Your HIV risk is essentially nonexistent.
Your comment that you ". . . date women, but I am attracted to men" is very telling. I suggest you get some counseling to help you confront sexual-orientation issues. I also suggest you learn more about safer-sexual practices. We have whole chapters in the archives devoted to HIV-sexual transmission, oral sex and safer-sexual techniques. Check them out! You are not alone in sexual experimenting as you question your sexual orientation. My advice to you is similar to my advice to the "Tea Man" below.
Tea Bagging ... What about STD's? Jul 24, 2008
Dear Dr. Bob: Being a newbie still and trying to find my orientation, I've been trying new "vanilla" things. I allowed a married guy, who wanted to do this, to lick and suck on my testicles; a first for me. I did not allow him to perform oral on my joy stick. It felt interesting to say the least. Not sure if I want to do it again? I guess it will all depend on your answer to my question? A lot of the answers seem to cover HIV, but I'm not worried about that, because the testicles are intact skin, not mucous membranes; however, have I placed myself in danger for other STD's like herpes, etc.? He did it twice, probably a minute during each time. He claims that he was tested in June of 2008 and is clean on all accounts. Of course, since you're to assume the worst, should I start freaking, watching for symptoms and be tested, or should I try it again sometime and continue to enjoy? A donation is on it's way. Thanks for your time and patience in reading my worried well message. BTW, is this called tea bagging? Love the TEA MAN
Response from Dr. Frascino
Yep, that's tea-bagging, even though the folks at Lipton's may not agree. You are also correct the HIV risk is nonexistent. As for "Vanilla" (or even "Tutti Fruity") sex, remember STD risk is not related to sexual orientation, but rather to risk behavior. Sure, there are some STDs that can be transmitted via skin-to-skin contact, but these risks are the same no matter which side of the fence you decide to have your tea party. Regarding STDs and oral sex, see below.
I'd recommend you get some counseling to help you with your sexual-orientation issues. I'd also recommend you peruse the archives to gain additional information and confidence regarding STD transmission and safer-sexual practices.
Good luck. Enjoy your tea party.
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