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Dating in a Hetro World

Jul 23, 2008


Here is my question. It is ablut disclosure. Being a straight male that is HIV +. I have not really dated or have gone out a lot since I have been diagnosed. I am afraid of being rejected when I disclose. Since I know I now have to diclose and I assume it would be best to do it on the first date or even before. I have friends that are gay and they have nop problem disclosing. Is it more acceptable to be Gay and HIV + then Hetro and HIV +. I just have the feeling that woman would be more to reject a man then a gay man would be to reject another gay man. Or should I just become a monk and not even bother to date. Of yes I do I do live in Southern California.

Response from Dr. Frascino


Whether it is "more acceptable" to be gay poz compared to hetero-poz is debatable. However, I can assure you issues like disclosure and fear of rejection are universal. I would suggest you read through the chapter in the archives dedicated to disclosure issues. You may well pick up some helpful hints. It's important to realize if you do get rejected, your date is rejecting the virus, not you. You could try some dating services or online "hook-ups" where your HIV status is disclosed in your profile. That way your potential playmates are already informed before you even get to the "do you come here often?" or "what's your sign?" stage.

As for becoming a monk, nah. You said you were straight, right?

Dr. Bob

Reformed Office Tramp
Samir Chachoua (HIV VACCINE)

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