The Body: The Complete HIV/AIDS Resource
Follow Us Follow Us on Facebook Follow Us on Twitter 
Professionals >> Visit The Body PROThe Body en Espanol
Ask the Experts About

Safe Sex and HIV PreventionSafe Sex and HIV Prevention
Rollover images to visit our other forums!
Recent AnswersAsk a Question
  • Email Email
  • Glossary Glossary

thank you for your support. An answer from you is beautiful!

Jul 18, 2008

You've been there for me and your luck comes in handy I see. It's hard when you come from a family who is anti-gay. If they accepted me from the get go, I'd be with one guy. My father always said......Be a murderer, a robber, a rapist BUT DON'T EVER BE A FAGGOT. SMACK!

I ended up dating a girl out to 27 yo and look what's happening to me. My urges take over and one night affairs become never-ending nightmares along with broken hearts.

I visited my father today and I told him that I slept with a hooker and that I think I'm infected. He told me that "HIV is the gay disease. HOOKERS LIVE A LONG TIME." I took a piss in his bathroom and 5 minutes later I see my stepmother scrubbing the toilet like there's no tomorrow. I went home very upset and just feel so violated in my ass. A part of me hates men but.....

I tried doing the right thing by using a condom the second time. Even that failed. I just can't get over this whole HIV scare. I had the risk and the symptoms. I even have photophobia now for the past few days. I would not be this concerned if I didn't get this sick. I mean, who gets sick for 4 whole months after unprotected anal screwage? I'm to the point where I would accept being positive for just about anything. I need relief. Even if it's temporary. It just kills me that I'm not getting a diagnosis. That's what concerns me the most. I'm even testing for heavy metal poisoning, mold, lead, parasites and whatever else causes nerve damage to the brain. The only thing I tested positive for was HSV 1. I was negative for it @ 5 weeks and positive for it at 3.5 months. Why is the HIV window period 6 months for me just because I'm gay and 3 months for bbwws'?

HIV has a great support system but it's not there to support anyone unless they test positive. That's where you come into play. You're there for all of us because we all have these questions and concerns. You have a remarkable sense of humor that I love to play along with. You make HIV a positive thing no matter what. You have no idea how many lives you've saved behind that monitor screen of yours.

THANKS DR. BOB!!!!!!!!!

love, ~dave

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Dave,

". . . unprotected anal screwage???" Hmm . . . very poetic; probably not grammatically correct, but creative nonetheless.

"HIV has a great support system but it's not there to support anyone unless they test positive." Hmm . . . yes, Dave, that is correct. You seem to possess a keen sense of the obvious. Similarly, we don't have cancer support groups for people who don't have cancer.

Dave, now that you've told me about your loving family, I better understand your mental anguish and psychopathology. Your father's comments speak volumes. "My father always said . . . Be a murderer, a robber, a rapist BUT DON'T EVER BE A FAGGOT. SMACK!" Wow, Dave, sorry to tell you this, but your dad is toxic. He's the root cause of your longstanding unhappiness and now also your clinical depression, anxiety and irrational fear of being HIV positive. I'm quite sure there is a special place in Hell reserved for hateful bigots like your father. Dave, I have strongly advised you seek counseling in my previous posts (see below). I now feel it's imperative. The issue really isn't HIV; it's your toxic family and how they have screwed up your mind, your health and your life. A psychiatrist and ongoing therapy may well help you to gain a better perspective on this truly tragic situation. In other words, it isn't your "unprotected anal screwage" that is ruining your health and your life. Rather, it's your dad's hateful and completely unwarranted mind screwage!

Feel free to show my response to your dad, with my compliments.

Dr. Bob

Hello you WOO-HOOER! Should I give it a rest? Jun 25, 2008

I'm the guy who titled my previous question: I need your OPINION!!!!!! "I really think I'm infected."

I took your advice and had my 3 month HIV tests come back negative. I am happy about this because most people say that a 3 month negative is a good sign. Some say it's conclusive and others say that I need to test at 6 months to a year.

My body is still going through something. After having all the symptoms, I still have pain in my under arms, the joint pain is still present. Now I've developed red palms and feet. It's like blood rushes to my hands but when I raise my hands towards my face, the blood rushes away. I feel like my blood is not circulating correctly. VERY SCARY!!!!! I had pains in my organs for a week too.

My questions are,

If I am still having symptoms after 3 months of my exposure, could it mean that I am still in the midst of seroconversion? Or could it be that my immune system is compromised and something is preventing test accuracy? Would the tests pick up something if I were sereconverting? Do tests trump HIV symptoms? Is it a possibility that I am a rare case? As an expert, do you think my concerns are irrational?

The risk, the symptoms, the experience and all of the conflict has left me feeling doubtful.

Is it essential to test at 6 months or sooner in my case? Or should I give it a rest and jump for joy? I don't want to leave this behind and then have it smack me in the face later on in life.

I know that you did tell me that my fears are unwarranted. Every time I read that I cry. I have been seeking counseling as well, just like you have suggested. I just want to pull through this. I've always been the guy who never succeeds in anything he try's. I just need this to be the one thing.


Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Dave,

I'll be brief. HIV is not your problem. No way. No how. Yes, you are being irrational. No further HIV testing is warranted. Don't just "seek counseling;" you need to actually get counseling from a qualified psychologist or psychiatrist. That is definitely your next step back to health, both mental and physical.

Dr. Bob

I need your OPINION!!!!!! I really think I'm infected. Jun 9, 2008

I had unprotected anal and was receptive. I know, I'm a fool. I came down with all of the hiv symptoms after 2 weeks. Started with feeling exhausted. Anyway, I tested positive at 2 weeks. Since then, i've taken several tests. About 11 to be exact. All have come back negative. It's been 11 weeks and I am negative so far. My question to you is, was the first test an indicator? Am I going to test positive because I'm still in the window period? Is an 11 week test accurate? The Senior Social worker at one of the top aids clinics in NYC told me that I'm negative for sure at 8 weeks. He told me that he's never seen anyone test negative and then positive later on. I want to believe him but with all of the symptoms and that first positive, I JUST CAN'T. I'm convinced and just need some reassurance. Everyone keeps telling me to ask "THE BODY.COM!!!!!!! I would greatly appreciate anything that you have to say. I know your always doing this and your answers will be valued for life. Should I just forget about testing and move on? Should I fear that my next test next week is going to be Poz? Should I test at 6 months if it's negative?

Response from Dr. Frascino


Relax Max! Your first test was undoubtedly a "false positive." Your 11 subsequent negative tests out to 11 weeks are more than ample evidence that the first test, not the subsequent 11 that followed, was wrong. I would advise a single test at the three-month mark (as that is the current-guidelines recommendation for a definitive HIV test. I have no doubt it will be negative. At that point all you'll need to do is hell WOO-HOO. And, of course, learn from this very trying experience. Unsafe sex is not worth the risk, the worry and the potential catastrophic consequences. If you cannot put your fears to rest after your three-month test, I'd suggest you get some counseling. Your fears are unwarranted.

Good luck.

Dr. Bob

Please answer me ...
Thank you very much!

  • Email Email
  • Glossary Glossary

 Get Email Notifications When This Forum Updates or Subscribe With RSS



This forum is designed for educational purposes only, and experts are not rendering medical, mental health, legal or other professional advice or services. If you have or suspect you may have a medical, mental health, legal or other problem that requires advice, consult your own caregiver, attorney or other qualified professional.

Experts appearing on this page are independent and are solely responsible for editing and fact-checking their material. Neither nor any advertiser is the publisher or speaker of posted visitors' questions or the experts' material.

Review our complete terms of use and copyright notice.

Powered by ExpertViewpoint