only 17 years old and feel like my life is over...
Jun 16, 2008
hey doctor, im a 17 year old male and recently ive had unprotected anal sex with a man. i was doing the topping. we used ALOT of lube, i mean ALOT. and before i put in i used a dildo in him first. well about 4 weeks passed by and started having diarehea for 2 days. then it stoped but then i started getting a sore throat and a low fever with it. i havnt had diarhea the whole week except i was constipated the whole time. i recently woke up today and my diarhea was back. ive onl gone to the bathroom 2 times today. right now im sitting in bed while all my friends are out enjoying summer vacation, and im in a depression. ive asked the guy i had sex with if he was pos and he claims no and that he only barebacked witth his boyfriend. but he just seems so shady. i mean maybe its just me. i asked him again and he told me no and he blocked me on aol =/ so now im even more nervouss. but i was bothering him..so that could of triggerd it. he said that he gets tested every year the day on his birthday wich is june 20. and that hed let me kno the day after. but i just dont trust this guy i mean i met him online. =/ i have no one to talk to because im in the closet. and i dont want to put anymore stress on my single mother who is currently out of work. i want to get tested but to ill and no car/money. and im also to afraid to. but then again i do get very skitzo and jump to a conclusion. but im just so nervous. i know your probably going to tell me theres a risk and that i need to get tested but can you please just give me a true opinion? my mom thinks i just have the flu. (sore throat, very low fever) its not mono because i had mono two years back and heard you cant get it again. i just need to clear my mind and want a real opinion. and is diarhea or constipation normal along with a sore throat? and low fever? like around 99/100? please help me out its much appreciated. im so disgusted with myself and the whole situation that i dont even want to think about sex anymore and regret everything. and to summerize it up the whole thing is jjust about a week now. thankyou for your time.-helpless
Response from Dr. Frascino
My honest opinion is that since you placed yourself at risk, you need to be tested. That opinion remains exactly the same whether you are symptom-free or have "every symptom in the book." Predicting who is or is not HIV-positive based on symptoms is notoriously unreliable. If you're old enough to have sex, you're old enough to accept the consequences of your actions. This is definitely the hard way to learn this lesson, but I'm confident you now fully realize barebacking is not worth the potential catastrophic consequences.
Regarding your buddy who is ready to put out a restraining order on you, if he "only barebacked with his boyfriend," why was he letting you go all "Brokeback Mountain" on his backdoor without dressing for the occasion???
As for what to do next, I would suggest you contact your local AIDS service organization (just Google "AIDS service organizations" and the name of your town, and a list will pop up). Ask about free HIV-testing sites. Many communities offer this at the local health department or other STD clinics. You'll need an HIV-antibody test at the three-month mark. (HIV-antibody tests taken prior to the three-month mark are not considered to be definitive.)
The second thing you need to do is come out of the closet. I know it's difficult, but it's important for your mental and physical health. Honesty is never the wrong choice. And that includes being honest about your sexual orientation with yourself, friends and family. Closets are health hazards!
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