Worried Scotsman - "Dogging" exposure
Jun 9, 2008
Hi Doctor Robert....
Please help a very anxious kilt-wearing Scotsman.
Last night, after a fallout with my wife (we ain't been getting along lately) I drove to a car park where swingers go for what they call here "dogging" sex.
I was invited to join a couple in their car and I fingered the woman, kissed her briefly, then had vaginal sex with her (wearing a condom) while she performed oral sex on her husband. I then withdrew, took the condom off and finished myself off by hand. I'm now worried that I may have contraced HIV or another STD as this couple were obviously regulars at this sort of thing. The woman was also a "squirter" and kinda sprayed her fluids on me when I was fingering and having sex with her. Could I possibly have contracted HIV or any other STD? I'm especially worried as I masturbated myself with the hand I used to finger her so I may have transferred viruses from my hand to my cock. How long will I have to wait for testing? I have two kids and I'm scared to even touch them just now.
Please help me Doctor Robert, you are my last hope!
Response from Dr. Frascino
Hello Scotsman Bill,
So you and your wife had a tiff. And then you got a tilt in your kilt and went "dogging." There you found a "squirter" who enjoyed sucking on her husband's Mr. Happy while you banged away, I presume, doggie style. Do I have the facts correct? Your HIV risk would be essentially negligible, assuming the latex condom was used properly and did not fail. The chance of acquiring HIV from squirted fluids coming in contact with your hand, which you then used to masturbate, is extremely remote. Your level of worry is far out of proportion to any degree of real HIV risk. The recommendation for HIV testing is to get an HIV-antibody test at the three-month mark. The odds are astronomically in your favor that you did not contract HIV from this "dogging" sexcapade. And what's all this nonsense about being too scared to touch your kids? Frevinsakes! Give those little rug-rats a big hug and stop being such a ninny. Even if you were HIV positive (and I very strongly believe you are not!), there is absolutely no reason to avoid contact with your kids.
Spend some time reviewing the information in the archives. Your fears are largely unwarranted.
Now that I've answered your question Bill, how about answering one for me? What the hell do Scotsmen wear under those kilts? Inquiring minds want to know!
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