Jun 9, 2008
I am an Indian now in Thailand. I am married for the past 11 years and have a dughter of 8 years. I am bisexual, though the inclination to men is much on the higher side. The only female i have had sex is my own wife. After coming to Bangkok i have frequented the men massage parlours atleats 10-15 times in span of one year and have had sexual massage sessions. Lately i had anal sex with the masseur , of course with prevention. What is my risk factor? How can i just live the rest of my life straight? I am killing myself...help me...
| Response from Dr. Frascino
You are bisexual, but the "inclination to men is much on the higher side"???? You've had sex with one woman, your wife, but you had 10-15 sessions with men, including anal sex. Hmm . . . I'm not sure if that qualifies as bisexuality. To answer your question about risk, the HIV risk from massage is nonexistent. This risk from anal sex would also be essentially nonexistent, if the latex condom was used properly and did not fail.
As for how you can live the rest of your life straight? Well, the only way to do that would be to live a lie by ignoring or suppressing your "inclination" to men.
In essence, I believe you must come to grips with your true sexual orientation. That is innate and cannot be changed. You can't make yourself straight simply by getting married, having children or desiring to live the rest of your life as a heterosexual. Likewise you can't make a heterosexual person gay simply by having him or her have a same-sex sexual encounter. You are what you are no matter what you do in bed or what you try to tell yourself!
My advice would be that you get counseling to help you identify and, more importantly, accept your innate sexual orientation. Once you understand and accept that reality, you'll know what to do with the rest of your life.
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