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Sucking on Strippers Tits

May 8, 2008

I am freaking out right now because I went to a strip club and blew $500.00 on lapdances. I had like 15 sessions of dry humping. One did kiss me on the lips -- short -- but do you think i could get herpes from this? I woke up with a red bump above my lip. Is there anyway that after that many lapdances I could have caught anything? I also sucked on some of their tits. Thanks if you answer this..I feel like dirty scum and feel like curling up in the feetle position and crying amongst my five intermittent showers. I feel like hell.

Response from Dr. Frascino


Five hundred dollars on lap dances???? Yeah, I can see feeling like hell after wasting that much money at a local Badda Bing. As for the STD risk of dry humping, relax Max. All you did was waste a load of money and perhaps rub your home entertainment center a bit raw from Bouncing Bertha's bump-and-grind maneuvering. Do I think you caught anything from your expensive tit sucking and stripper kisses? No. It is true herpes could be transmitted via skin-to-skin contact. But you could contract that just as likely from giving your Grandma (with a resolving cold sore) as kiss as from Pussy Galore (with the basketball-sized silicone-enhanced bodacious tatas). Dude, don't feel like "dirty scum." You made some "actress-model-waitress-pole dancers" very happy by spending your stimulus package tax rebate in such a stimulating way. That is what Bush meant by a "stimulus" package, right?

Take a read through the archives if you are still feeling down. There are loads of stripper-related questions and testimonials located there that you should find reassuring, OK?

Dr. Bob

Does size matter?
Potato chips or HIV

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