what are my chances?? Pl; Help
Apr 13, 2008
This is my first mail to you..
First of all I would like to thanks to you for sparing time and advising we all.you are doing really great job
Since last 2 weeks I was checking on net about HIV information. I never thought that I will be in this situationtoday when I saw your site, feel and hope that I will get reply
My story goes like this way ----
I am maintaining my family business, for months together I am always on travel.
Four year before, I got married & happy person till March 26, 2008. On March 26th, I got news that the girl with whom I slept in Mid February is HIV infected. I was knowing this girl for more than one year.. but I have slept with her, only once that in the mid of February, 2008. before and after that I never slept with any one except my wife.
My risk.. I had protected vaginal sex with this girl. Before that we had little bit fingering.. after sex.. as I was in hurry to travel.. I went to bath room, checked condom it was without any damage. In hurry I pulled out condom and took shower. Same day evening I left my town.
On March 26th, this girl called and told me that she is HIV positive.. after that I recalled one week after our episode I had stomach problem, night sweat, itching all over body some time headache. Till today I am having joint pain, muscle pain, sore mouth / throat & also lost my appetite I am not able to eat proper meal, so many days I was thinking due to traveling & having food in restaurant may be my stomach & mouth must have some infection and was happy that I will lose some weight. But since I heard that news I am very much worried. I am not able to sleep in night.
I do remember that before sex we had fingering and also after sex in hurry I may have touched penis head with vaginal fluidsthis must have infected me. Due to that I am facing all these symptoms.
Now I am very much afraid to go back to my family, since last one week I am delaying my travel but this Sunday i have to travel back to see my family hoping I will get your reply before that please help me.
Please advise whether I was in risk? Have you heard anybody getting infected in this condition? Last 2 weeks I am not able to concentrate on my work, I am spending all my time on net collecting all information and got very much confused.
Please help promise to send donation
Response from Dr. Frascino
Protected vaginal sex is indeed "protected!" Assuming the latex condom was used properly and did not break, your risk of acquiring the virus from this episode would be essentially nonexistent. HIV cannot permeate intact latex. No way. No how. Fingering is not considered to be an HIV-transmission risk if the skin on the fingers is intact. Symptoms are notoriously unreliable in predicting who is and who is not HIV infected. Your symptoms are more consistent with anxiety and stress than with HIV acute retroviral syndrome (ARS). I very strongly doubt you contracted HIV from this indiscretion.
I would advise the following:
1. Level with your wife. It's not only the best way for you to confront your guilt and anxiety surrounding this issue; it's also the right thing to do.
2. Get a three-month rapid HIV test to put your residual (and largely unwarranted) worries permanently to rest. I'm confident the result will be negative.
3. Stop worrying! You practiced safer sex techniques. If everyone were as diligent as you in protecting themselves and their partners we would not have an HIV pandemic!
Thank you for your tax-deductible gift to the Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation (www.concertedeffort.org). In return I'm sending you my good-luck karma that your definitive HIV test is negative. (I strongly believe it will indeed be negative.)
Good luck. Be well.
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