Got to hand it to you. PLEASE READ. PLEASE!!!
Apr 11, 2008
So, Dr. Bob. I don't have a question for you, just a quick story that I want to share. So, I was one of those confused, preppy, MARRIED 27 year olds who thought that I had the world by the balls and nothing could happen to me. Well, I also thought that my attraction to guys and the occassional jo session in the steamer was just a phase... 'I am not THAT kind of guy" I would say... Well, my guilt caught up to me and I started to worry about STDs and HIV. Hmm... worry would be an understatement. I FREAKED. I sat and read pretty much every post here. Some made me relax and others made me freak more. And you know what made me angry... you did! Because you would tell these married guys to go and level with their wives and family because it was the right thing to do. I would think, 'this guy can't say that... we are MARRIED guys... we don't need to say anything... he doesn't know and should keep his mouth shut..." (harsh I know, sorry!) WELL. I spent probably a solid 16 months worried sick. My life felt like it was crumbling. Then, one day, I said. ENOUGH. Life isn't a dress rehearsal... its time to start being me for once. My parents knew when I spoke to them on the phone that something was wrong and I was hurting. They gave me the time to come to terms with what it is that was bothering me. Then I did it. I told them. Mom, Dad, I am gay. I am gay and I am married and I am so scared you wouldn't believe it (hard words to come from a 27 6'2 195 pound former college football player). And you know what they said???? They said. WE LOVE YOU! We are here for you. Its going to be a long journey but we are by your side. WOW! awesome. Best feeling of my entire life. Next day, I told my best friend in the whole world. Same reaction. Again, WOW. My journey is halfway over... just need to tell my wife. There is going to be pain... but in the end it is what is best. I am scared to tell her but I am also excited for my future... and the best part is... I can actually be ME from now on.
So why am I telling you this? Well, I don't think my story is very noteworthy but you are right... When you know something is wrong, you need to face it. You need to level with the people around you. You need to be true. LIFE ISN"T A DRESS REHEARSAL! So thanks. We never met, we never spoke or emailed, but you have helped me alot. So keep up the good work, you are making an impact.
Response from Dr. Frascino
Thank you for taking the time to write in and share your story. You have no idea how many "I'm not THAT kind of guys" will be reading your brave words and ultimately say hey, if he can do it, so can I. Of course that's after they spend quite a bit of time thinking "this guy doesn't know what he's talking about and should just keep his mouth shut!" (They don't mean to be harsh either!) As I've often said, "honesty is never a wrong decision!"
I'm delighted your parents and friends are being supportive; however, even if they weren't it would still be the right thing to do!!!
You are absolutely correct: "Life is not a dress rehearsal." And I can tell you life is way more fun when you aren't "acting" all the time!
BRAVO. Your real-life performance is just beginning.
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