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Scared to Death in Iraq Please Help

Apr 8, 2008


I am in need of some information, I do not have very good access to the internet at my present location in Iraq, when I went out on leave I stoped in Dubai and that is when the below incedent took place. I am a nervous wreck I have read quite a few of your archives and I am thankfull for someone like you who has given time to teach and pass on valuable information. I think you are doing a wonderful thing if you could please guide me that would be great unfortunatlery I cant stop thinking about my situation and need some advice and to be honest something positive too. I know you will give me nothing but honest answers and I look forward to them. Also please send me an address so oncew I get my pay I can wire the foundation some money I appreciate everything and I look forward to hearing from you. My situation is as follows. Approx 6.5 weeks ago I had protected and then unprotected vaginal sex with a CSW in Dubai, it lasted maybe 10 mins. Before the sex I did shave and take a shower before I went out; I did not see any visible cuts on my genitals anywhere I know there might have been micro ones though. After we completed of course I started to freak out in realization of what I had just down. I did ask her if she has been tested she stated back in Russian she had and that was three months ago so I was still worried knowing she had been with a lot of guys since that time. For some reason she states she gets a shot every month in her buttocks Im thinking it was penicillin to kill whatever std she might have caught she couldnt really explain it to me because of the language barrier. She did start to ask me if I had any type of disease also she told me she uses a condoms actually she went with me to purchase the condoms because she didnt have any of her on I know in Dubai if she gets caught with them it could mean trouble for her. I flew back to the states for a little while and the only thing I can think of that I experienced was I got a rash that came over my forearms when we walked into the local Petco store for dog food and it went away after we left. I still get light a light colored rash on my forearms and upper arms it seems the more I start looking for it. I have had no signs of a fever I do have a slight head cold with a little congestion my nose is stopped up in the mornings as well. I dont have any swelling in my lymp nodes but I do feel like my right side of my neck feels funny but is not swollen and there was some pain under my arms every now and then but other than that I have felt fine except for my stress.I know what I have done is very stupid!! But now all I can think about is my wife and son what am I going to do. I have not had any symptoms of any STDs since my incounter as well. I know that symptoms could possible mean anything I am very freaked out and cant stop stressing over it I plan on going for testing as soon as possible but currently Im am located back in the middle east where I cannot test right now. Please can someone tell me what there thoughts are, I cant believe this is taking over my life and the amount of stress it causes. I appercaite everyones answer thank you and please give me your good luck Karma I am thankful for everyone on the board and there attitude some of the other boards I have posted have been nothing but negitve and that get me that much more down in the dumps Take care and I look foreward to hearing from you sir God bless from the middle of Iraq.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Iraq Guy,

Thanks for your kind comments. Regarding your HIV-acquisition risk, the "protected" sex would not be considered a risk, assuming the latex condom was used properly and did not fail. HIV cannot permeate intact latex. No way. No how. The problem is your "unprotected vaginal sex." Unprotected sex, as I'm sure you realize, does place you at some degree of risk for STDs, including HIV. The estimated per-episode statistical risk for acquiring HIV from unprotected penile-vaginal sex with a partner confirmed to be HIV positive is 5 per 10,000 exposures. Your estimated statistical risk would be even lower, as we don't know the HIV status of your Dubai-Russkie-Darling.

Your symptoms transient rash, etc. are not suggestive of or worrisome for HIV disease. The odds remain astronomically in your favor that you did not contract HIV from your indiscretion in Dubai. However, the only way to know for absolutely certain is to get an HIV test at the three-month (or later) mark.

No doubt your current anxiety and stress are related to guilt over this entire incident compounded by being stationed in a dangerous environment. The best way to confront your guilt and anxiety would be to level with your wife. I realize that may be difficult if not impossible, considering your current deployment, but ultimately it is the right thing to do.

Donation information for the Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation can be found on the foundation's Web site at The foundation's address is:

The Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation 1000 Fremont Ave., Suite 145 Los Altos, CA 94024

I will certainly send you my very best good-luck/good-health karma, not only that your definitive HIV test is negative, but also so that you will return home safe, sound and soon! Please also allow me to express my sincere and heartfelt gratitude and admiration for your service in Iraq, despite the bungling incompetence that got us into this misguided and tragic war. We are doing everything we can here at home to assure a "regime change" in Washington to end Dubya's Reign of Error and get you and our other brave soldiers back home!

Good luck!

Dr. Bob

RE: if it walks like a duck
Please answer... very worried

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