Mar 30, 2008
I have recently discovered that my husband (of 7 years) is having anonomous anal sex and is the receiving partner, and he doesn't know that I have found this out. I believe he may have been involved in this behavior for 2-3 years, maybe longer, and does it when he is travelling on business. According to what I have discovered about his behavior, apparently he uses condoms, and plays "safe" and asks the person if they are disease/drug free. How likely are those people answering honestly (or how likely is it that maybe they don't know they have HIV)? How safe can this be for me, and do I need to get HIV tested immediately? Does this mean he is gay?
| Response from Dr. Frascino
How honest are anonymous partners who hook up with traveling business men for hanky-panky on the down-low? Obviously no one knows.
How likely are they not to know their HIV status? Statistics estimate that 25% of the over-1,000,000 HIV-positive Americans have absolutely no idea they are infected.
How safe are you? If you are properly using latex condoms and they haven't failed (broken), your risk would be minimal. If you are not using protection, your risk is increased and HIV testing would certainly be warranted.
Does this mean your husband is gay? If indeed he's been having anonymous receptive backdoor action for the past two-three years, my keen sense of the obvious would lead me to believe this is more than a phase and his chances of being straight as a lawn dart are nonexistent. I think it's time you had a heart-to-heart conversation with your husband about exactly what type of business is being conducted on those business trips!
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