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Desperate and Begging (KISSING)

Feb 22, 2008

Dear Bob,

I am begging, pleading with you to answer my question, no matter how silly it may seem.

I have spent the last week in a state of absolute despair; unable to eat, sleep, or keep from breaking down in tears constantly.

You see, I made out (kissing only) on two seperate occasions with a man of unknown status. Is there any chance I could get HIV from this situation?

Please answer and I promise to donate to your very worthy cause.

Response from Dr. Frascino


A whole week of absolute despair? Unable to eat, sleep or keep from breaking down in tears constantly???? YIKES!!! All this over two episodes of lip-lock with a hottie of unknown HIV status? Dude, any chance you were home schooled or attended one of Dubya's abstinence-only-until-marriage sex education courses? Oh well, no matter. As is the case with so many begging, pleading desperate worriers starving from lack of food, delirious from lack of sleep and dehydrated from excessive bouts of needless crying the answer you seek and reassurance you desire were waiting for you in the archives. In fact I've answered similar questions so many times that the "kissing" question has become a QTND (question that never dies). See below for just a small sampling of what you can find in the archives.

Thanks for your willingness to make a tax-deductible gift to the Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation (

Be well. Stop worrying. Dry your tears. Get something to eat and then hit the sheets for some z's, OK?

Dr. Bob

Kissing and Telling Jun 25, 2005

Hi Bob, Except for my haircut and the fact that I am Jewish, for the last 2 years I have lived the life of a monk. Well not really; I just haven't had any sex with another living, visible thing. (No oral sex, mutual masturbation nada...) In short, my friends no longer believe that I am gay.

Anyway, here is my question/situation. A few months ago, I decided to get back in the social scene a bit, went to a bar, and made-out with a pretty nice guy. I didn't think too much about the risk of the kissing until I read on this site that there can be extenuating circumstances that might make kissing theoretically risky (Count Dracula meets Count Draculina). Well then my Woody Allen persona kicked-in and I thought, "You know my dental hygienist tells me I need to start flossing. And my gums bleed a little sometimes when I brush my teeth. And what if the other person also had substandard dental hygiene..., and on and on.

Even though I have gingivitis, I dont think that either I or the other guys gums were bleeding. Wouldnt I have noticed?

Incidentally, I was tested for HIV 9-10 weeks after this incident, (but not because of this incident) and my test was negative.

I would greatly prefer to be assured that medically there is no need for me to retest because of this kissing incident. And that in particular extenuating circumstances means being aware of blood through either taste or sight. That is the transfer of blood would not be a tiny amount and the action would not be subtle. Do you have confidence that I still fall into the category of that song you sometimes sing when this topic comes up even though I dont floss and my gums sometimes bleed a little when I brush my teeth?

In future, I promise to floss in addition to brushing my teeth. (But not moments before kissing someone.)

Thanks very much for your time and consideration. The service you provide is tremendous. Nervous Kisser

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hey Nervous Kisser,

No sex for two years??? Wow, even with the trendy haircut, I don't believe you're gay either.

OK, on to your question. Yes, the lyrics to "that song" can be modified to fit your situation.

"A kiss is just a kiss And something not to miss

Even though you don't floss And think your Woody Allen persona is the boss

So start smooching and stop being an anxiety case Or you'll wind up an old maid without ever even getting to second base."

This works best with a rap beat.

Dr. Bob

The Kissing Dilemma Mar 14, 2004

Hello bob, i need your help with my question. I recently (26 days ago, in valentines day) deep kissed a girl whose hiv status i don't know. During that time i had a sore throat from an old cold i didn't cure. I took the ELISA test at 19 days and was negative. Do i still need to take the test at 3 & 6 months ??? what's my risk??

Thank you

A worried kisser

Response from Dr. Frascino


Not unless you kiss like Count Dracula and suck pint loads of blood at the same time. No, my friend, deep kissing does not carry a risk for HIV transmission, and does not warrant HIV screening. Now I'm going to sing you a few lines from an old song, "A kiss is just a kiss . . . as time goes by. . . ."

Stay well.

Dr. Bob

Thanks indeterminate result resolved WooHoo
perfect world

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