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Feb 16, 2008

First, there was T. A very immature, physical love. Possibly the best there has EVER been, but shortterm by definition. The marathon ended abruptly when a Dr. told me I had AIDS. I felt morally obligated to inform her of this. She responded, "That takes 6 months, I didn't give you AIDS." Being that T was a nurse, the lack of education in that statement was rather shocking. As was the lack of caring. The lack of concern for her own health was terrifying. T has recently gone to active duty in Bush's sand castle. That answers both concerns. Immature love.

Then there was F. F held my hand for the next three months. Nothing physically intimate, by my (painful, oh my God, was it ever so painful) choice. As displayed by the previous Bible quotes, I am fairly well versed in the bible. That may be why I am an athiest. F was an almost militant Christian. When I tested HIV negative three months after T, F said, "you are not a Christian. I have AIDS and I'm dieing. Goodbye." If she truly feels that way, I owe her a debt of gratitude that I can never repay. She held me through one of the worst times in my life. And, if she truly feels that way, she owes me the grand apology. False love does not console false love. If she truly has AIDS, that only amplifies both debts. How could she manage to hold me up through what must have been intolerably painful for her? That is a strength that I can barely even comprehend*. If she was holding me up hoping for a seroconvergent spiritual follower, or obedient puppy, that is a weakness I refuse to understand. Controlling, self serving, conditional love.

Then there was D. D and I have been friends for years. D was there for me during, and after, both T and F. Recently, while taking D for her cancer surgery, I found out that D has late stage AIDS and is dieing. Strong, selfless, unconditional, true love. Thank you D. I will always love you.


* Dr. B; Is it truly difficult? Or does it provide you with some form of consolation? Either way, thank you. That, by the way, is a very sincere question.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello R,

Your story is a bit bizarre, to say the least.

The sincere answer to your sincere question is yes, living with HIV can be challenging. My consolation comes from my loving partner Steve (Dr. Steve, the expert in The Body's Tratamientos forum) and the privilege of being able to help others who are in desperate need.

Dr. Bob

Law enforcement BJ

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