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Screw the Counselors!!
Feb 14, 2008

Dear Doc,

I must assert that Im through with counselors. What must a guy do to get a straight-no frills-to the point answer on issues of hiv transmission and infection? Pls doc, youre my only source of good advice and knowledge at this point. Ill keep my question as straightforward as how I would appreciate your kind answer to be as well. I went to a sleazy bar and engaged in deep kissing with a hostess. Then I licked and sucked her nipples. Then I tickled her vagina (her panties were on) with my finger which had a small cut. I called my local hiv councelling line and the dialogue between the wise-ass on the other end of the line and me went something like this:

Wise-ass: Deep kissing is usually not risky but if the girl had some cut in her mouths, and if her blood got in contact with your mouth then, yes, there is a risk of infection. Me: But dont I have to have wounds in my mouth or gum disease, at least thats whats said on the internet? Wise-ass: No. The lining on your throat or your lips or tongue could have small cuts that cant be noticed so easily. These are possible routes of admission. Me: Really? Wise-ass: Yes. Definitely. Me: And what about the nipple sucking? Is that a risk as well? Wise-ass: Its not a risk unless the girl is pregnant or if she had recently given birth. Me: Thats not possible. She wasnt pregnant. Wise-ass: But she could have been. So there is a very small risk. Me: And touching her vagina? Wise-ass: Small risk because of the cut on your finger, though this is uncommon. Me: So what do I do? Wise-ass: I think you should go for a test. Me: Really?? Wise-ass: Yes. Me: Err..ok. thanks Wise-ass: No problem (hangs up)

Pls help me Dr Bob.

Thanks, Jerry

Out of the depths, I cry to you o doc!!!!

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hey Jerry,

Wise-Ass Counselor Guy probably didn't mean to come off as vague, but determining the degree of HIV-transmission risk can be difficult over the phone and even more difficult over the Internet. There are always extenuating circumstances for instance, "non-intact skin." One person's "small cut" may be someone else's "open wound." One can never really know over the phone (or Internet). That said, if I were to assess your HIV-acquisition risk based on the information provided, I would place it in the negligible range. I would recommend testing only to put your residual worries permanently to rest. The test results would undoubtedly be negative.

Finally, if you plan to "screw the counselor," remember to wear a latex condom and use plenty of water-based lube, OK?

Dr. Bob



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