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Extremely Worried and Sorry!!

Feb 12, 2008

Hi, Dr. Bob,

I need your help please!!!I am a 29 year old un-circumsied male. About 4 weeks ago I had sex with a female sex worker. She first gave me oral with condom on but the condom was pretty sloppy and it looked like saliva got into it. I did not ejaculate. I then, put a new condom on and we preceded to have vaginal intercourse for no more than 4 minutes. This time I did ejaculate into condom and immediatley withdrew. What are the chances I contracted HIV during this dumb lack of judgement? Is taking off a condom then putting a new one risky? I recently got a dry cough and flu-like symptoms and I am scared that I may be infected with HIV and these could be early symptoms. I am married with children and I could not take stress over what I did so, I confessed to my wife my stupidity and weaknesses. All I want is for them to be safe I'm the stupid one and I don't want to possibly expose them if I did contract HIV. I love my family so much and I now know that my actions not only affect me but my whole family. I did take an HIV Blood test 2 weeks after the episode, which came back negative, but I can't help but thinking that I may have caught HIV!! Do I need to get another HIV test? I made a big mistake and I don't want this to be the mistake of a life time. I will never do this again!! I made a pact with myself and my family that this will never happen again. I need your good karma and knowledge because I can't take this anymore. I comend you for your strength and support to all on this website. I will also be making a donation to your foundation, and each time I feel any desire to do anything stupid again I will read the stories of others on this site to remind me of all that can be lost in a split second. I'am hoping for good news but also have prepared myself for the worst. Thank you for your time Dr.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Extremely Worried,

Your HIV-acquisition risk is negligible to nonexistent, assuming the latex condom was used properly for the vaginal sex and did not break. Oral sex with a condom is not a risk, even if the condom was "sloppy." Saliva does not transmit HIV, unless it contains visible infected blood.

Changing condoms between sex acts is not risky; in fact, it's recommended! I'm glad you leveled with your wife. It's the best way to cope with guilt and anxiety and it's the right thing to do.

Regarding HIV testing, this should be done only to calm your residual fears. A single rapid HIV test at the three-month mark is all that you would need. The results will undoubtedly be negative. Thank you for your donation to the Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation ( In return I have sent my good-luck karma that your three-month definitive HIV test will indeed be negative. In truth I strongly doubt you even need my good luck, but it's sent nonetheless! I see no reason to "prepare for the worst." Instead I suggest you prepare to WOO-HOO!

Good luck.

Dr. Bob

For all the worried wells out there

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