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Giving HIV to another: "Hellish"

Jan 28, 2008

Dr Frascino,

Your stamina in responding to these questions is truly incredible. Thank you for the public service you perform.

For me, the idea of having HIV is not nearly as scary as the idea of passing it on to another person. I am surprised by the number of anxiety-ridden men who come weeping to you, just worrying about themselves. I suggest this to many of them, said on the day of Connie Corleones wedding: You can act like a man!

I am only bothering you, good Dr, because after browsing the archives for several hours, my topic does not seem to have been brought up much, although it is answered implicitly in hundreds of your well-written and funny responses. The question is simple how long after possible exposure should one get tested and proceed to have (protected) sex again?

I tested negative for HIV antibodies 8 weeks after unprotected insertive vaginal sex with a sex worker. Since then, I have met a woman and we have quickly started a wonderful relationship. We have not had sex yet, only because I would much rather meet Luca Brasis fate then chance passing her HIV. The archives seem to point that I should wait until the three month test, then can happily have protected sex with this amazing, beautiful woman (think: Apolonia in Sicily).

Essentially I have answered my own question, but I still make seeking reassurance, and support it will not be easy resisting sex with this woman. I would appreciate any advice, reassurance, support, etc, that you might give only if youre not too busy!

Again, thank you for all your time and dedication.


Response from Dr. Frascino


I agree with your assessment of the information in the archives. For routine exposures without extenuating circumstances, a negative FDA-approved HIV test at the three-month mark would be considered definitive.

As for any advice I might give, well how about this: "Leave the gun; take the cannolis."

Be well. Stay well.

Dr. Bob

Please Dr. Bob, I need your advice! I wrote four times.

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