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A word of thanks
Jan 24, 2008

Recently I have entered into a relationship with a guy who is hiv+. He was upfront with me from the get go. I like to think of myself as a moderatly knowledgeable person. Im aware of the few risks, when the proper percautions are taken. And this is something we have been very open in talking about.

My problem started recently, when I realy started to become aware of my true feelings. I guess this makes me a selfish person, since Its not the the fear of contracting, but rather the fear of eventualy loosing the one that I may love.

I want to thank you for having such an open forum, reading over it the past few days has helped me in so many ways. I know that this is something that I will eventualy have to discuss with my significant other, and in time I will. I just do not want to upset him over such a thing. But for now, my mind is at much greater ease. Knowing that there are others out there who are able to deal with the same issues, is very reasuring to me.

Thank you again!

Oh and to those who don't think your questions have not been answered, READ ON! Since it has mostlikey been answered several times, in many different ways!

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

Thanks for your thanks and for effectively utilizing the archives. I'm hopeful your post will encourage others to do the same.

One of the many issues magnetic couples have to deal with is the fear that the poz partner could get sick and pass on to whatever comes next. Survivor guilt is very real in this setting. I encourage you to discuss this openly with your partner. It's a testament to the depth of your love. When most people think of the concerns magnetic couples face, they automatically jump to the obvious one of fear of infecting the negative partner. Certainly all of us involved in magnetic relationships must come to grips with this; however, it's certainly not our only concern, as your touching post clearly demonstrates. What most of us come to realize was perhaps best expressed in a line from the film "Steel Magnolias." Shelby, one of the main characters who is also taking a health risk, states, "I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special."

From one successful magnetic couple to another, I wish you every happiness and a life full of "wonderful."

Dr. Bob



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