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scared after possible exposure please respond

Jan 19, 2008

Hi Dr Bob

This is the second mail.Once again ,I must commend you for all that you do.When I read your biography I was in awe of your courage !God bless you!

I know that my question is probably contained in the archives,but please understand that I need to hear it from you. This is what happened:On the 5 January 2008 I got horribly drunk with friends who took me to a strip club cum brothel.The woman got naked as did I .She fingered herself with her right hand and then came over to me and and gave me a hand job with the same hand.I then immediately told her to stop and masturbate me with her left hand(I dont know whether she had vaginal secretions on her left hand as well,although in retrospect I assume she did).The woman then performed a titf@%#k on me.She also licked my chest. I am a bit concerned because I masturbated a few times that day which probably chafed my penis.

I am sick to the pit of my stomach as I cheated on my loving and devoted wife.I do not want sleep with her for fear of infecting her.I am even too scared to touch our young daughter.

What is my risk of contracting hiv and other std"s from the above activities?Should I go for an hiv test? I hope to hear from you soon.

Keep up the the good work!(What are your donation details as I would like to donate a $100 to your worthy cause?)

Sleepless in South Africa

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Sleepless in South Africa,

Thanks for your kind comments and yes indeed the response and reassurance you are looking for is indeed contained in the extensive archives of this forum. Consequently, I'll be brief:

1. Masturbation is not considered to be a significant risk for HIV transmission, even if your Mr. Happy was "probably chafed" from your tug-a-thon earlier in the day.

2. "Titf@%#k" is not considered to be a significant risk for HIV transmission.

3. Chest licking is not considered to be a significant risk for HIV transmission.

HIV and STD testing is not warranted for the above activities. The only reason to consider testing would be to put your unwarranted worries permanently to rest.

Your major problem is guilt and anxiety for having cheated on your wife. The best way to confront this is to level with her. (It's also the right thing to do.) Try not to be so hard on yourself. We all have lapses of judgment. We all make mistakes. (Yes, even yours truly!) What is really important is that we confront our fears, accept the consequences of our actions and learn from our mistakes. Yes, you had a walk on the wild side, but your HIV/STD risk remains essentially nonexistent based on the activities you describe, OK?

Donation information for the Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation can be found on the foundation's Web site at Thanks for your willingness to help others in need.

Good luck. Be well. Stay well.

Dr. Bob

HIV contraction
I think it is time to move on. Do you agree?

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