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Dec 19, 2007

Dear Doctor Bob,

Potential Ex -Worried well here, seeking WOOHOO status confirmation. For the past three months now I've been reading your forums and your witty and ultra-informative responses to everyone. Your compassion, warm heart and optimism has blessed my life and kept me SOMEWHAT sane over the past three months. But most of all, you gave me the courage to get tested. I just returned from my neighborhood Free HIV testing center at the Out of the Closet Store, where the counselor used the new oral swab test. The results were out in fifteen minutes while he calmed me down. The result? NEGATIVE. During the car-drive home I started to think of all the things you said to all those worried wells out there. And I screamed WOO-HOOOOOOOO! (the lady in the car next to me looked at me like I was crazy) But then i realized, I need to get Doc Bob's WOOHOO approval!! So, umm

So here's my story:

After a long dry spell (if you know what I mean), I somehow ended up sleeping with someone Paris would consider super promiscuous. Like many other worried wells, it was protected vaginal, unprotected insertive oral and handjobs. Considered I had signed my own death warrant, I was worried sick. Then I discovered Dr. Bob's Forum. Every day, while I studied evidence and analyzing the constitution (im a 2nd year Law Student), I spent a few moments reading Dr. Bob's forums. This soon became an obsession - my irrational fears began to take control and what started as a few minutes per day became hours. The "what ifs" began to invade my psyche: "what if the condom slipped?" "what if I broke it when i opened it?" "What if she was lying to me when she said she was negative?"

As finals rolled around, I tried my best to focus, study and not think about it. Boy, were my attempts futile. The anxiety attacks led to even less sleep...and I began to think I had every symptom this side of the Mississippi. After my last final, I decided, IM GETTING TESTED. I need to know. So I went. And boy was I freakin out. I started hyperventilating as the Counselor tried to keep me calm. He told me something that Dr. Bob has been telling all of us from day one: Protected vaginal sex is indeed protected assuming the condom didn't fail. After he walked in and said negative, I felt a sense of euphoria that rivals nothing else. I hope my small donation helps your cause, God Bless.

So I have two questions for you Doc Bob.....

So Dr. Bob what do you say? Can I WOO-HOO and enjoy my winter vacation? and...

The counselor told me their new oral swab system allowed for valid testing within two weeks after potential exposure. Is that true?

I wish you a happy holidays, good health and well wishes. Once again, I'd like to thank you for your compassion, your warm heart, your hilarious wit, and your no-bullsh*t responses. You are a gift to humanity, you sure you dont want to run for president? You got my vote!

I hope my contribution helps your cause...God Bless.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hey Potential Ex-Worried,

It's definitely time you dropped the adjective "potential" and become a full-fledged "Ex-Worried Well!" Your negative results are indeed Dr. Bob-certified WOO-HOOable!

Me run for president? Nah. I wouldn't want to even try to clean up Dubya's mess. The guy is a walking stuttering disaster area! Luckily we have an excellent slate of fine Democratic contenders and I would be happy with any one of the top three. What a difference there is between listening to them talk about ways to extricate ourselves from Iraq, protect the environment and provide universal health care compared to the pathetic Republican slate bickering about whose God can out-Jesus the other guy's. It's become difficult to tell if I'm watching a Republican Presidential Debate or a skit from SNL!

Dr. Bob

re false negatives
HIV-2 specific testing

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