I was diagnosed as positve 8 months ago, and my new boyfriend is negative and doesn't think he knows a single positive person. I think I am more concerned than he is about what is totally safe and what is moderately safe. I precum a lot. What danger does precum present? If he is giving me oral sex, I don't let him swallow my load, but last night he said that my precum tasted good. On a scale from 1-10, with 10 being real safe, what is precum rated for someone to swallow? And what about precum that seeps out while we are cuddling and gets on his stomach or outer thigh. We think his skin is intact, but how do we really know if there aren't any microscopic tears?

Thank you for your answer.

Hello,

Your new boyfriend doesn't know a single HIV-positive person??? Wow, where did you find your new studmuffin? The Baptist Sleep-Away Summer Camp?? No matter. You are now a "magnetic couple" (one poz, one neggie). As such I suggest you both read the archives of this forum and information at its related links pertaining to "magnetic couples" and "HIV transmission." From there you should be able to decide together what is safe enough for your sex play based on what is known scientifically about HIV transmission risk and also what both of your comfort levels are.

As for pre-cum, I cannot give you a 1-10 scale rating or any estimated HIV-transmission-risk statistics, as there are far too many potentially confounding variables to consider. What I can do is advise you that pre-cum can contain HIV and is considered an infectious body fluid. As for getting pre-cum on your buddy's six-pack abs or thunder thighs, this would not be considered an HIV-transmission risk. HIV cannot permeate intact skin. As for oral sex, you and your partner will have to decide together whether the level of risk is acceptable or not. Some magnetic couples feel the risk, although present, is so slight that they are comfortable forgoing condoms. For others this is not an acceptable level of risk.

Good luck to you both. If your magnetic coupling turns out even half as wonderful as mine, be prepared for a lifetime of unimaginable happiness and sizzling passion.

Dr. Bob