So How Many Got Infected Via Insertive Oral 2 (ORAL SEX RISK)
Nov 20, 2007
First off, do you consider a negative rapid oral test done 11.5 months after a few seconds of insertive oral to be considered definitive or conclusive. Do I need a regular blood test to confirm my Woo Hoo?
Dear Doc Bob,
Thank you for replying me on April 5 2007 (So how many got infected via Insertive Oral). Sorry, that I can only thank you now but it was only 3 weeks ago, that I could sum up the courage to go for the test despite the encouraging words in your letter. Like I said in my last letter, I belong to the negative thinking group (Super negative). I bought lottery tickets but some times never even bother to check because I never think I could be that lucky. Yet, for HIV, I was sure I got it even though the chances is "far more remote than being hit by lighting".
But I can tell you that during the past months, during my darkest and frightening moments, I read your letter over and over again to get some calm and relief. Yes, I was a frightened lamb (actually that was understated, the correct word should be "terrified").
You were dead right that I cannot live the rest of my life "hoping that I was not infected" and at the same time "feel like a frightened lamb".
Life was hell. Every body symptom I had added to my chronic stress, I couldn't work, I couldn't do anything, in one word I was unfunctionable. I got frightened the moment I woke up till I slept and I would feel so tired that, thanks God, I slept soundly but I didn't want to wake up every morning.
Probably, due to chronic stress, one big problem after another started to manifest in my body about 6 months after my exposure. Bad sore throat, bleeding gum sore, tonque ulcers. I became more and more terrified with each new happening but I just couldn't get the courage to be tested.
And I still have to act infront of other people that I have no problem, I have to laugh with them. It is so difficult for me. My family held a birthday party for me, everyone was enjoying except me, deep down I was shattered.
Then a few months back, my foreskin was inflamed. I was diagnosed as having balanitis, yeast infection. This is was the last straw, I told myself, if I have HIV, I have to be tested, I cannot hide forever.
Now, I feel so much better, I am no more a frightened lamb but maybe just a worried lamb. Still worried about the 0.2% inacurracy of the test and my yeast infection. I read yeast infection is HIV related.
My yeast infection is not cured yet, but I am calmer, and life slowly slip back to normal.
I think all other worried wells should just go ahead and get tested. I know it is difficult to do it, I have gone through hell with it. If not for the test, I would still be in that chronic stress state which may kill me in other ways.
So doctor, can I really woo-hoo?
Response from Dr. Frascino
Do I consider a negative rapid test 11.5 months "after a few seconds" of insertive oral sex to be definitive and conclusive? Yes, absolutely!
Can you really WOO-HOO! Absofrickinlutely! It's long overdue! All this "supernegativity" over "a few seconds of insertive oral" is completely unwarranted.
Stop worrying. Start WOO-HOOing!
So How Many Got Infected Via Insertive Oral Apr 5, 2007
Like reading the bible, I come to your forum every morning for the past months and have read most of your archives until I feel tired.
You are a saviour, you have helped thousands of people (those who are positive thinking)but many are still worried to hell (the negative thinking ones), and sadly I am one of them.
However, I found one simple question and answer which slightly lifted my mood and I reproduced it here below.
"Mutual masturbation... Nov 6, 2006
In all your years working in your office helping HIV people, have you ever heard of HIV resulting from mutual masturbation?
Just curious... keep up the awesome work.
Response from Dr. Frascino
The short answer is no. The long answer is nope. "
But why am I still so worried as Mutual Masterbation is all I practise?
The reason is once I was in inspecting my Mr Happy, turning over the fore skin, when the guy next to me suddenly dived and put it in his mouth. It lasted a few seconds but because I have exposed my mucous membrane, I am worried sick and like everyone else, every change in my body is a symtom. I just cannot bring myself to go for a test because I fear it will surely be positive. I rather live with a hope that I am not infected.
In your replies, you always say insertive oral is "VERY LOW OR NEGLIGEBLE risk", "ALMOST or Virtually non- existent".
So here is my question which I hope will help me and others.
In all your years working in your office helping HIV people, have you ever heard of (documented) HIV resulting from Insertive Oral?
I am afraid you would not be able to give the same answer as there is a Documented 0.5 per 10,000.
Lastly, I wish to reiterate that you have done a wonderful job. I only wish you are as omnipotent as God being able to answer every question you received, but I know that is impossible.
Sometimes, you may receive nasty letters but I guess they are from desparate people who did not get their answer. They like me, are like frightened lambs in a pen waiting to be slaughtered.
Please dont be affected by these letters, and carry on your noble work.
Response from Dr. Frascino
"Frightened lambs in a pen waiting to be slaughtered????" Don't you think that's maybe the tiniest bit overdramatic as it relates to the risk of a two-second blowjob?
Let's try to put some perspective on this situation. First, the 0.5-per-10,000 statistic is only a statistical estimate of potential risk and it relates to insertive oral sex with a partner confirmed to be HIV positive. It is not a "documented risk." Often, our worries are way out of proportion to actual risk. For instance, most people worry more about being murdered than committing suicide, yet twice as many Americans commit suicide each year as are murdered! Similarly, folks worry more about being struck dead by lightening bolts than falling out of bed, yet 10 times as many Americans die from falling out of bed as from lightning strikes. Your risk of contracting HIV from two seconds of oral insertive sex with a partner of unknown HIV status is, in reality, far, far, far less than being hit by lightening. So if we put all this together, if you are not absolutely positively petrified of falling to your death from your Sealy Posturepedic each and every time you crawl into bed, then your fears of HIV from this incident are way overblown (so to speak) and completely irrational!
Have I ever heard of HIV resulting form insertive oral sex? Sure, I've heard about it. But can I document it? No. What we do have is 26 years of epidemiological experience to support the fact that oral insertive sex carries a minimal to negligible risk. (See post from the archives below.)
Your fears of HIV testing are unwarranted and reveal a considerable degree of anxiety. I suggest you seek the help of a counselor to help you confront your unwarranted fears and treat your underlying anxiety. Your statements that you would rather live with a hope that (you) are not infected," while simultaneously feeling "like a frightened lamb in a pen waiting to be slaughtered" don't really add up to a rational way to approach the rest of your life.
My advice is that you get tested and stop all this nonsense before you fall out of bed and break your neck or get zapped by a lightening bolt, OK?
Your WOO-HOO is waiting for you.
Hello Doctor Bob, Can you PLEASE help a fellow Italian out? My boyfriend dumped me, I will try to make a donation soon. Apr 3, 2007
Dear Doctor Bob,
I am sitting hear with tears streaming down my face. I am very scared that I may be infected. I was in a great relationship, well one I thought was great. He dumped me 6 months ago for a 20 year old twink. I have always been careful sexually, ALWAYS condoms for anal sex even in this LTR. Well, being down, I have had a few sexual partners in the past months, mainly out of being sad and lonely. I have performed oral sex on a number of guys (7) not with ejaculation and have had anal sex always protected, with all of them. I also rimmed them. I am so exhausted, have stopped working out, feel like I am in a total brain fog, can barely function at work, have had lymph nodes on my neck that are the size of a pea (just one) and on and on. I am scared doctor. As I have found out two of the guys I had sex with (on more than one occasion) are HIV positive. My questions are:
1. Since I have always had protected anal sex, as a top, should I be ok here? I put the condom on before going in, used a Trogan, and pulled out and every time checked the condom with water to see if it broke. My only concern is if I took the condom off the right way.
2. I know oral sex is minimal risk, but what if these guys that were positive had a high viral load? That would increase a minimal risk woudn't it? I don't allow guys to cum in my mouth, but I DID taste precum. Is my risk still minimal?
3. Rimming is supposed to be very low risk, but how low is low?
4. Do you think my chance are good that I am negative?
I have read so many stories online about guys getting HIV from oral sex, or that have always played safe and now they have the virus and don't know how. This scares me.
I am going to get the courage to get tested, but I would like to see a doctor first for this anxiety and depression treated. So I can cope better. I think about HIV 24 hours a day, I wake up feeling like I never slept. My body aches...you know the story.
I will try and make a donation when I get my taxes back - hopefully by then I will be smiling more and the old great person I was.
Anything you can give me: inspiration, calming words, or your amazing advice would so appreciated.
Sadly, and still in tears.
Josh in Southern Calif.
Response from Dr. Frascino
Hi Josh in Southern Calif.,
An Italian named Josh??? Hmmm . . . exactly which part of Italy do you hail from, Josh? Or perhaps Josh is just short for Josheroni???
Sorry to hear you got dumped and are now down in the dumps (so to speak). I'm fairly certain you'll soon be rebounding and realizing that who you thought was Mr. Right really wasn't. Chances are ultimately he'll be singing "The One that Got Away Blues" when his infatuation with the twink fades. Remember Twinkies, Hostess or otherwise, may taste good initially, but in reality they're just junk food and not very satisfying for a regular or healthy diet! Right?!?!
So on to your questions:
1. The key here is "protected." If the latex condom was used properly and did not fail, your HIV risk would be essentially nonexistent. Taking condoms off is not a problem!
2. Yes, this risk remains minimal at best.
3. Twenty-six years into the epidemic there are still no documented cases of HIV transmission from rimming or getting rimmed. That's how low!
4. Yes, I'd rate your chances as excellent!
5. "Online stories" are just that "online stories!" I've read "online stories" that claim condoms have holes in them that allow HIV to swim right through and that George "Dubya" is an excellent president with a brilliant mind. Obviously those things aren't true either. There was a recent study of 198 gay or bisexual men in San Francisco who said they only had oral sex for a year. Thirty-nine of those performed oral sex on HIV-positive partners. Thirty-five of those did not use a condom and 16 reported swallowing. No one became HIV positive during the study. Because the number of participants in the study is relatively small, we cannot say absolutely that oral sex carries zero risk, but the study certainly supports our current understanding that the risk is extremely small at best.
So Josheroni, it's time to dry those tears, realize your HIV risk is essentially negligible and get tested. Your negative result will help chase those blues away with a resounding WOO-HOO! You also need to get back to the gym to clear that brain fog and improve your sleep cycle.
Yes, see your doctor and/or a counselor to help with your anxiety and depression if needed. But most importantly, dry those crocodile tears and fix that frowny-face. It's time for the Italian Stallion to reemerge!
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