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dear dr, third try, pls answer!
Nov 19, 2007

Dear dr Bob, I write from Spain, pls excuse my english if its not 100% correct as its not my native language. I made a big mistake 6 weeks ago, when I had protected vaginal sex with a prostitute in a club, during a bachelor party. It happened clearly due to alcohol excess and its the first and only time in my life such thing occur, I hope. There was no failure of the condom, which reassures me, but not sure at all if there was unprotected oral before (she to me). Two days later I had sex with my wife, 6 months pregnant, who suffered the following day an urine infection. It went away in 3-4 days. After these 6 weeks I did not experience any symptom, now what I feel is anxiety and my head loaded, like recently woke up, you know what I mean. Im very scared for my wife and unborn baby. What is the risk of having caused any harm to them, in terms of HIV transmission of any other thing? With my best regards and promise to donate for the help of people who rellly need it, and my gratitude for your task. thanks a lot form spain. Carlos

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Carlos,

Your HIV-transmission risk is extremely low based on what you have reported. Protected sex is indeed protected if the latex condom was used properly and did not fail. Oral sex (if it even occurred) would carry a very low risk for potential HIV transmission. Certainly if you are worried and clearly you are a rapid HIV test at the three-month mark would put these fears permanently to rest.

That your wife developed a urinary tract infection the day after you had sex does not in any way, shape or form indicate that you have HIV!

There is no doubt your biggest problems at the moment are guilt, anxiety and depression related to your lapse in judgment. I would suggest you level with your wife. Not only is it the best way to confront your guilt; it's also the right thing to do.

Thank you for your willingness to make a donation to The Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation to help those in desperate need. In return I'm sending you my good-luck karma that your definitive three-month HIV test is negative. I'm confident it indeed will be!

Good luck.

Dr. Bob



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