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Rimming, Oral Sex, Risk?

Nov 19, 2007

Three weeks ago, I satisfied a long time curiosity of mine and I had receptive anal sex with a male (who say's he's HIV negative -but who can be sure). He also rimmed me and gave me head. I'm scared about HIV. I have had a headache and shakyness and no appetite for a few weeks now. Also, yesterday I noticed some dots on my right arm. One is darker and is sensitive to touch. The other three are in a cluster and are light red. I also have a white coated tongue. I was on antibiotics for three days about 2 weeks ago if that matters. I also have a burning sensation in my armpits and a constantly upset stomach. I can't even eat. Is it possible this is due to another virus, nerves, or HIV? Thanks for your help.

Response from Dr. Frascino


Was your backdoor action protected? You merely mention "receptive anal sex." If this was unprotected your HIV risk increases significantly. On the other hand, if a latex condom was used properly and did not fail (break), then your HIV-transmission risk for this activity would diminish to the negligible range. Regarding rimming, there have been no documented cases of HIV transmission from rimming or getting rimmed. As for oral sex, the HIV-transmission risk is very low, particularly for the insertive partner.

Your symptoms are not consistent with or worrisome for HIV ARS (Acute Retroviral Syndrome). Rather, they are very consistent with anxiety, guilt and depression.

If you feel you've placed yourself at risk for STDs, including HIV, you'll need to be screened. For HIV, wait for the three-month mark, as HIV-antibody tests taken prior to this are not considered to be definitive.

Finally, I believe it's important to address your "long time curiosity." Counseling may well help you explore the issues surrounding your sexual orientation. There is no doubt some of your current problems are due to your anxiety over this man-on-man action. It's extremely unfortunate that our puritanical and hyper-religious society has demonized gay sexual orientation to the point that exploring one's sexual orientation leads to such psychological trauma.

Good luck.

Dr. Bob

poz/neg oral sex
what is unsafe sex

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