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21 yr daughter/thinks no risk
Apr 13, 2001

21 yr daughter just told us she is "in love" with another female and will start up a relationship with her. We've asked her specifically about HIV/Aids risk and she states NO RISK for FEMALES who only were ever with only FEMALE PARTNERS. Is this true?

Response from Mr. Kull

It's great that your daughter is in love!

It is not true that there is no risk involved in female-female sexual contact. However, HIV transmission among women who have sex with women seems quite uncommon (there have only been a few documented cases). This can be explained by the low risk for transmission involved in oral sex, especially to someone who is performing oral sex on a woman. Risk increases when there is the presence of blood (i.e., during menstruation), STDs, or poor oral health in the person performing oral sex. It is also advisable that sex toys are not shared if they have not been cleaned (soap and hot water can do the trick). Some people make sharing sex toys easier by covering them with a new latex condom each time they are used. Other forms of contact--grinding/ frotage, finger play--do not pose any real risk for infection.

Your daughter probably presented her case to you in this way so that you won't worry. If you give her information about her risk (which is very low) in a thoughtful, caring way, then it may be more meaningful to her. Parents sometimes have difficulty adjusting to their child's sexual partner choices, so it may take some time for you both to get used to this. It's great that you are showing concern for her health.

RMK



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