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Masturbation using a plastic baggy

Oct 27, 2007

This sounds bad but rather than using my hand masturbating for sometime now i've been using a plactic bag filled with lotion and sticking it in the couch to simulate sex I'm wondering if i'm at risk for catching anyting


Response from Dr. Frascino


Dude, relax. You're not the first one to have a meaningful sexual relationship with their couch (or mattress and box spring) with the help of a Ziploc and some Oil of Olay. The true risk of such activities is not catching "anyting," but rather getting caught by your mom, girlfriend, wife or boyfriend. Were you really worried about catching an STD from your sofa? Did you think maybe the sofa was cheating on you?

One improvement to your Mr. Happy (in a sandwich bag full of hand lotion) inserted into couch love-a-thon would be to cover the whole apparatus with a sock. It increases the slip and slide quotient. The sock goes on the outside so it's Mr. Happy then lotion then baggy then sock then couch. Try it. You'll like it. And this, by the way, definitely qualifies as safe sex! So enjoy your personal home entertainment center, worry free!

Dr. Bob

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