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Really scared Dr. Bob

Oct 24, 2007

Dr. Bob,

I'm really scared right now so please answer this question asap. First let me say that I've never been tested for any STD. After a hard break up with my girlfriend 3.5 years ago, I hooked up with a few girls that gave me unprotected oral sex (over the course of 3-4 months). A month or so later I met someone who ended up becoming my girlfriend. She was a virgin too. About 1.5 years after being together with her 100s of times, she got pregenant. She didn't want to keep it so she got an abortion. A week or so after the abortion she had an STD test includig HIV. She was negative for all STD's including HIV. Question: if I was HIV positive that whole time, and impregnated her, then she got tested negative, could I still have HIV?

Again, please answer ASAP. I greatly appreciate your time, and will be sure to donate.

Response from Dr. Frascino


You report you're "really scared right now" and want me to reply "ASAP." And you've obviously had unprotected sex, considering your girlfriend got pregnant. And yet you state, "I've never been tested for any STD." Hmmm . . . do you see a problem with a very easy solution there or am I imagining things???? Come on dude, you've been sexually active for years. You're obviously freaking out, worrying about STDs, and yet you won't get tested? That type of behavior is not only illogical; it's juvenile and potentially dangerous. Don't you think it's time to grow up? If you're old enough to be making babies, you're old enough to take responsibility for your health and the sexual wellbeing of your partners. If it sounds like you're being scolded a bit, well, you are!

As for using your girlfriend's lab results as a surrogate marker for your own STD and HIV status, sorry Charlie, it doesn't work that way. Remember, not every HIV exposure leads to HIV transmission for a whole host of reasons. Even your "100s of times" gives no comfort, let alone guarantees you are HIV negative! Just check out the archives and you'll find a number of testimonials there that prove this point. The only way to know your HIV status is to get your own HIV test. Period.

What you must do is painfully obvious and long overdue. Get STD and HIV screened. Stop procrastinating. You are literally driving yourself insane and potentially endangering the lives of others. As Jack Bauer says, "Do it. Do it now." I can assure you you'll be glad you did, OK?

Thanks for your willingness to make a donation to The Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation ( In return I'm sending you my good-luck karma that your definitive STD and HIV tests are all negative, OK?

Good luck! I'm here if you need me.

Dr. Bob

+ young male does not want relationships
Could it be a false positive?

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